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Chris T., JD
Chris T., JD, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4823
Experience:  I have assisted many customers and clients with their family law questions and I'm experienced in family law litigation.
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This involves California marriage law. My wife and i are

Customer Question

This involves California marriage law.
My wife and i are considering a divorce. We both have threatened each other with a fight of attorneys which we both know is fruitless and costly. In order to defuse the emotional turmoil associated with her making the choice and seeking an attorney to serve me papers
I have stepped up to the plate and taken an initiative to get the ball rolling. I am of the belief that even though I am taking the initiative with my attorney and paying the costs, this firm can also act as an arbitrator on both of our interests if that is what we wish. We simply need to tell them, act on our behalf to get us to middle ground with an agreement we can both agree to. It would be non biased and hopefully non confrontational.
My wife, doesn't think this is possible. I believe it is, and want someone to give us some knowledgable advise.
Twenty eight years is tough to toss away. We both want to be friends. I believe we just need some guidance with some issues in life. She is refusing counseling and I am into it deeply.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Chris T., JD replied 1 year ago.

Hello. I'll be happy to assist you.

Legally, attorneys can represent both parties to a marriage in a divorce, but they both must waive the potential conflict of interest. In other words, she's correct that a legal conflict of interest exists, since an attorney has a legal obligation to his client and to do everything in his power to see the best outcome for his client. That said, the conflict can be waived if both parties agree, and then the attorney can switch gears from being an advocate for one side and being a mediator. This is fairly common, and a good way to handle a divorce, both from a personal/relationship standpoint and a financial one. But, for it to work, both parties have to be on board. Generally, when people hire their own attorneys, they being to fight, because the attorneys are trying to get as much out of the divorce for their client as they can, and then things go south.