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If your ex in fact works for the employer and the em
the employer refuses to withhold support, then the employer becomes directly liable to you for the support regardless of whether your ex is served with papers or not. This assumes there is an existing court order for child support. Legally you have the option to retain a private attorney or work with a child support collection agency. You do not have to wait on the State to do something. Many child support agencies will retain a lawyer for you if your ex continues to refuse to pay the support.
The State agency or a private agency? If the employer has been served with a withholding order and is not paying, then you can sue the employer.
I do not think you could sue for damages or pain and suffering. However, you could sue for attorney fees.
That would be the normal situation for child support. If the employer has taken a more involved position, such as making an "intentional" decision not to pay the child support rather than just being unaware of the legal requirements, then maybe you would have a claim for damages, but typically not.