Family Law

Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Family Law

From BR LA! I am a 38yo gay white male, never married

Customer Question
Hello from BR LA! I...
Hello from BR LA! I am a 38yo gay white male, never married and I have been with my same male partner for 17years this November. I was 21yo when we first met, and within the first 1 1/2 years I had completely moved into my by boyfriend's home that he owned prior to us ever meeting - let alone dating and a serious relationship (This was roughly 1999) . Prior to living with him, I was a poor 21yo and shared a two bedroom apartment with my best friend and her boyfriend. I should also mention, there is a 13yo age difference between us so while i was 21 he was 34yo, had a great job and a beautiful life we created. In 2008 my partner decided to buy a new home and at the time he asked if I would like to be listed on the deed of the house. Because I was still unsure the fate of our relationship, and things were going well, he was indeed the breadwinner while i worked for a cellular company. Our arrangement was that I would basically work to pay my basic living expenses (car,ins, cell, health ins, and contribute additionally when I had the extra income. While now it seems a juvenile and poor naive decision not to be placed on the deed of the home when presented with the opportunity, I was extremely green to the inner and outer workings of the real estate market and truly wanted to make the home ours, regardless of whose name was on the deed. I call it being stupidly optimistic that everything would work out for everyone and my main concern was that - I honestly did not know if our realationship would endure and I pride myself being an honest and loyal friend and lover. I also had little to zero family support and I did not want it ever to be viewed that i was taking advantage of this man....not 50yo older than me but still a big age gap that my family rejected for many years to come. I thought we would live our fairly tale in our own little house and someday I would graduate from Nursing School and with my income as a nurse - I could help to contribute to an even nicer home - with both of our names on the deed. Wow! I'm finally realizing I should have taken the golden egg when presented to me and allowed him to add me to the deed to the house. We are still living in the home we moved into in 2008 and will celebrate 17 years of living together in November 2015. While I'm proud to say we overcame the typical timeframe for most monogomous gay male couples 5-10yrs, I have become increasingly sadder as the years have gone buy. I have faced a series of health and personal setbacks. Please understand, I love this man dearly with all of my heart and I really thought he was my soul mate. However, jealously appeared and our relationship has been plagued by cheating accusations (from him to me which always were and have been unfounded, and due to the severity of my injuries and the necessary time to recover from spinal neck surgery - I had 5 herniated disk that were dangerously close to compressing my spinal cord the options I were left with was surgery, each surgery took about a year to fully recover and was forced to vacate a great job with his reassurance he would help me have returned to school to complete my BS in Nursing and am excited to say I am applying to Nursing school this fall. However, sadly, I feel we are both deeply unhappy. He is very much a type A personality who must have constant control over all situations. I even suggested he sell some of his art work to help me get on my feet and his response "over my dead body". While i feel (and he has always known) that someday I would like to start a family, he has recently told me that he is too old to adopt or surrogate an infant child or even a small toddler. In one fatal swoop he shattered a lifelong dream. The singular event that broke my heart and soul is when I overheard him telling a group of mutual friends- that he had no intention of ever marrying me (years before the recent ruling) and I would never get a dime of his money. It upsets me to tears because he loves to paint me as nothing but a gold digger and that while his hopes and dreams mattered, mine never have. I have bee called many things, but gold digger I am not. I've even suggested that we meet with an attorney who could possibly provide us alternatives to resolve our differences and he snakily replied, "What do you think I owe you? Alimony?" before rolling his eyes as if to say "yeah buddy when hell freezes over. I am filled with sadness and sense of entrapment. I fear if our relationship ends-he will fight tooth and nail to ensure I leave with nothing but the clothes on my back, I do not think I'm entitled to half of his earnings Nevertheless, I gave him 17 of the prime years of my life and had he expressed his no desire to have children.i am sure i would have walked years ago. But to string me along pretending to want children.was just cold and cruel. I am at a loss of what to do. I feel i am drowning with no one genuinely willing to offer me a friendly hand to help or advice. Please help
Submitted: 2 years ago.Category: Family Law
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 5 minutes by:
7/22/2015
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29,477
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
Verified
Good morning. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through and how much time and effort you have put into this relationship. What I do need is for you to clarify exactly what it is you want to know, so I can provide you with a direct answer.
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Good Morning. I apologize I thought that I did ask a specific question. So, please allow me to ask again. Even though my partner and I have been together for 17 years........and I live in a very conservative state. Do I not have any rights after devoting so many years 17 and counting to this one man? Is there not a common law marriage for gay couples. If he wanted, could he simply throw me out on the streets and I could not find for anything? to help until i was up on my feet. Can a court not stipulate how long or for how short of a period he would have to help me with "alimony" since he has been my sole source of income for practically 17 years - give or take a few prior to my medical surgeries. Can he not be forced to forfeit some of his artwork (and it is not 10,000 if the alternative is me sleeping in homeless shelters? are there no laws protecting gay couples 15+ years or more and you both decide to go your separate ways?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
are there no lawyers willing to take a case such as mine pro bono given to help me fight against someone who feels that after 17 years .....longer than most heterosexual couples stay married.....Is there no lawyers willing to help a poor college student - yes even i 30's to fight to win me any rights when the only other alternative is sleeping in the streets. This man makes almost 200.000 a year? i mean this feels like David and Goliath ......do you understand my point? and it is not my intention to take him to the cleaners.....but wouldn't at least one lawyer feel I'm entitled to some type of spousal support even for a short while?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
hello are u there?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
Thank you for the additional information. Louisiana does not have common law marriage, so that is not something which you could fall back on, to try and make a claim towards his money and assets. I am going to be up front and honest and share with you that unless you have something in writing, evidencing an agreement between the two of you, you would not be entitled to anything. You would be in a dating relationship, just like a man/women who have lived together for 17 years but never got married or entered into any type of agreement in regard to ownership interests. You should have 100% had your name added to the title on the home, since you would now possess a legal right and interest in it and he would have had to buy you out, if he wanted you to leave or be the sole owner. Even though you have put in and invested so much over the years, he does not have to pay you any support or give you anything unless you have something in writing to evidence an agreement. Since you were never married, this relationship would be one that is viewed as a boyfriend/boyfriend type and that you have been dating for a long period of time. I know it is not what you want to hear but I am being upfront with you
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
So basically you are saying that nothing nor an attorney would be willing to fight for me when this man makes $2000 or could attempt to setup a trust on my behalf when the only alternative is living homeless on the streets and probably dead within a year? And I could never be added to this deed. It was not like this was discussed for days, weeks, hours. I was a naive 21yo who should have forgone love and just left the moment my name was not added to the deed? And the reason why I didn't immediately jump on ship was because I had no idea about deeds and mortages and he told me that he needed an answer on the spot and their was no time to talk to attorney. as a 38yo man that sounds suspicious but to a naive 21yo who knew nothing about real estate I trusted what he said. Can an Amendment be made to add me to the deed? Would no lawyer be willing to represent me due to i was basically lied to by this man from the get go?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
200000 a year to 2000. I can he not be forced to testify in front of a judge and if proven he has perjured himself - would that not reflect negatively on him for doing exactly what he did..lying to someone who had no idea about the real estate market and then lied to again when asked can we meet with a lawyer and was told "no I have to given him an answer over the phone now" I mean he committed fraud against me via lies and manipulation. Would a judge not recognize that?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
An attorney may be willing to take the case and you can present evidence to show an agreement between you and him to give you a legal right in the home. As the moving party, you would need to show this if you want to prevail. He could easily come into court and say that while you dated and were together for all this time, there was never anything in writing signed by both parties, which would show an interest for him to share the home with you and this is a situation where the relationship has ended and he wants to simply move on. If you want to show fraud and misrepresentation, you would need to show/prove that he said things which you relied on and conditions which you met and things which you did based upon what he said and now he is failing to perform under the agreement,
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
what if someone was terminally sick......can they not petition the court to add on an additional party since my decision for declining was based on lies and the threat that I had to give them an answer immediately on the phone .....I have no idea who this guy could have been talking to on the other end of the phone.......It was a con. Is there not a crime, even in Louisiana?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
Can you please clarify what happened in this situation?
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
and do you have any contacts in Baton Rouge Louisiana who you do not think would be willing to try to help me ? to persecute this guy for fraud for using one of the oldest fraud tatic I've ever heard of ......bait and switch. familiar with that?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Ok.....are you aware of any attorneys in Louisiana who would be to possibly speak with me or i can meet at their office in Baton Rouge? Anyone at all?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
If you are talking about prosecution, that is at the discretion of the State and you would need to speak with the police and inform them as to what happened and they would have to turn the case over to be filed by the State. If you want to file a civil lawsuit, that would have to be done by you and you should speak with your local legal aid office, if you do not have the funds to retain private counsel, to help
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
So even he wrote a letter to the bank that finances the home or has refinancied it.......could he not specifically ask that someone - namely me since i have lived in the home since he moved in in 2008 be added to the deed as well? if it was notarized and witnessed? I mean what happens if he had a massive heart attack? would there be no option for his sister or nephew be added to the deed? I mean......if he typed a letter stating that Mr. XXXXX should have been included on the deed at time of the sale of the home in 2008 but I am NOW asking that he be added as co or joint deed holder? is that not a possibility?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
Yes, if he wanted to add you to the deed, he could simply execute a quit claim deed and you would be on title and have an ownership interest in it. If something were to happen to him, the home would be part of his estate and pass to his heir, so in this case, likely his sister, absent something else in his will.
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
is is that a fairy simple process to execute a quit claim deed? Because he originally lied to me for 7 years - under fraudulent reasons to prevent me from being on the deed. So if his option is to either add me to the deed or face fraud charges.....can that be executed quickly or is it a lengthy process? 2-3 months? 3-6 months? a telephone call to the bank that is financing the home? a trip to his lawyers office? can you please give me an idea of how long that would take from once initiated to until i would appear as well on the deed?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
I'm sorry did u get my last questions ? because i will be requesting my family to prosecute him due to fradulent misrepresentation. can you please provide more insight into that process please
Customer reply replied 2 years ago
Pardon me...i am on the phone with my mother now and i will be paying via cc for all of the questions.....can you please respond to these questions so i can translate for her:is is that a fairy simple process to execute a quit claim deed? Because he originally lied to me for 7 years - under fraudulent reasons to prevent me from being on the deed. So if his option is to either add me to the deed or face fraud charges.....can that be executed quickly or is it a lengthy process? 2-3 months? 3-6 months? a telephone call to the bank that is financing the home? a trip to his lawyers office? can you please give me an idea of how long that would take from once initiated to until i would appear as well on the deed?
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
Yes, a quit claim deed is easy to execute and would need to be signed by all interested parties and filed and recorded.
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
I have to step away for a few minutes but will be happy to respond and answer any additional questions you may have. As such, if you have any more, please share them with me and once I return, they will be answered
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Family Lawyer: FamilyAnswer, Lawyer replied 2 years ago
I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Ask FamilyAnswer Your Own Question
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29,477
29,477 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases

FamilyAnswer is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,875 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,415 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,398 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,787 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
I just spoke to you regarding spousal support in Ohio. It's
I just spoke to you regarding spousal support in Ohio. It's asking for more money and I have a Me membership.… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,854 satisfied customers
My spousal support was lowered due ex husband couldn't
My spousal support was lowered due ex husband couldn't afford to pay. But now I found out he was married at the time and he didn't disclose it. Can I do something about it … read more
Sue
Sue
Juris Doctorate
240 satisfied customers
I was in a common law marriage with 3 kids and have joint
I was in a common law marriage with 3 kids and have joint property with my ex, I have moved out. How do i proceed to get child support and division of assets. We are not legally married? … read more
Loren Stone
Loren Stone
481 satisfied customers
Does Mesa AZ have a common law marriage after 10 years
Second opinion] Does Mesa AZ have a common law marriage after 10 years living together ?… read more
Zoey, JD
Zoey, JD
Doctoral Degree
181 satisfied customers
Spousal support in Maryland can be modified for a number of
Spousal support in Maryland can be modified for a number of factors including "substantial" increase or decrease in income. What is considered substantial?… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,854 satisfied customers
What are the requirements for a common law marriage in
What are the requirements for a common law marriage in Illinois? … read more
Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq.
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
244 satisfied customers
Does Missouri recognize common law marriage from Texas and
Does Missouri recognize common law marriage from Texas and cases of settling an estate? … read more
Dwayne B.
Dwayne B.
Juris Doctor
28,689 satisfied customers
I was denied spousal support because I was convicted of
I was denied spousal support because I was convicted of domestic violence. I broke the telephone so she couldn't call the police during an argument we were having. The courts left it open to be determ… read more
Expert
Expert
Managing Partner
Doctoral Degree
8 satisfied customers
I filed a spousal support giving up my rights and now I
I filed a spousal support giving up my rights and now I don't want to give up my rights I wanted to do a cost of living raise. … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,686 satisfied customers
I need help with the enforcement of a spousal support
I need help with the enforcement of a spousal support agreement from Virginia. I live in tn the respondent lives in va...what court or state do I use to get this heard? … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,854 satisfied customers
Common law marriage in is it leagle. Seattle washington
common law marriage in Washington is it leagle JA: Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in? Customer: seattle washington JA: Have you talked to a lawyer ye… read more
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer
Lawyer
29,477 satisfied customers
How to you have to be together to have common law marriage
How long to you have to be together to have common law marriage in Colorado and what things do you need to do it!… read more
Lucy
Lucy
Juris Doctor
129 satisfied customers
Are husbands able to get spousal support? California
Are husbands able to get spousal support? JA: Because family law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in? Customer: California JA: Have you talked to a lawyer yet? Customer: … read more
Ely
Ely
Counselor at Law
Juris Doctor
11,875 satisfied customers
When does temporary spousal support end and spousal support
when does temporary spousal support end and spousal support begin. At my initial hearing I was ordered to pay $2000 per month of temporary spousal support. At the divorce hearing, the Judge ordered me… read more
Lucy
Lucy
Juris Doctor
129 satisfied customers
I have a question concerning spousal support in Oklahoma...
I have a question concerning spousal support in Oklahoma... … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,854 satisfied customers
Me and previous spouse entered into a common law marriage in
Me and previous spouse entered into a common law marriage in the state of texas back in 2013 where we lived together, filed taxes, carried step children on my insurance at multiple employers and recently 2016 of may adjusted medical support based on insurance. We seperatedin Sept and finally called in quits in December. I asked for a divorce several of times because of all the government things that were involved. As of last week he has remarried. Is this legal since I have asked for a divorce? Isnt it necessary since the IRS involved? … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,686 satisfied customers
I was wondering if common law marriages were legal in NY
I was wondering if common law marriages were legal in NY State and NJ? … read more
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Attorney
Juris Doctor
45 satisfied customers
DOES THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT RECOGNIZE A COMMON LAW MARRIAGE
DOES THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT RECOGNIZE A COMMON LAW MARRIAGE CONTRACT FOR SURVIVOR BENEFIT PLAN PURPOSES? … read more
Loren Stone
Loren Stone
481 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x