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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 116713
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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My 15 year old daughter moved in with me, after he and his

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My 15 year old daughter moved in with me, after he and his wife kicked her out. Previously both of my daughters were living with them the majority of the time. I had lived out of state for a few years, but recently moved back to Minnesota last November. My oldest daughter has been having problems with them since 7th grade. They don't know it but she is lesbian. She had a lot of anxiety and fear living with them, they never treated her like all of the other kids and there was unfair treatment between the step moms kids and my kids a lot. My daughter now lives with me. I had been paying him child support by court order. When my daughter moved in with me full time (seeing her dad every other Sat/Sun some times), I requested to change child support. I get my other daughter Friday to Sunday every other weekend. He is not cooperative, threatens me, manipulates me and my daughters.. he is not a nice man.
He makes over 100,000 a year (I think his current wife does too), he and his wife just purchased a 515k home. I think he may make closer to 120k, but Im not sure. 100K is enough. I make 1200 to 1500 monthly, with 1050 monthly rent. I am on food stamps.
Here is what his offer was. He said to avoid going to court, he would give me 360 a month and provide dental and health coverage and help to pay half of drivers ed for my daughter. I looked at the child support calculator, and I could probably get around 900 a month in child support, but what I really want is full custody, legal and physical of my daughter. He said I can counter his offer once thats it.
My main goal is to get full legal and physical custody. Can you tell me if what I wrote should maybe be done differently? I have 2 hours to give him my response.
Child Support Summary
Parent A: Stacie Loebig Number of Joint Children: 2
Parent B: Adam Schafer Date: 7/19/2015
Parent A Parent B
Basic Support Obligation Amount $0 $961
Child Care Support Obligation Amount $0 $0
Medical Support Obligation Amount $56 $0
Child Support Obligation Total Amount $56 $961
Share of Uninsured and/or Unreimbursed Medical Expenses 16% 84%
This is likely the Bare MINIMUM amount that would be owed to me by you every month.
I have income verification and everything necessary to prove exactly how much I am making every month and have been for years. Any threats to expose me of any wrong doing, do not concern me at all, I have truth on my side and this frankly your threats to comply or be exposed is a form of blackmail.
I am seriously concerned about your selfish motives and parenting tactics.
I understand I have 1 chance to present you a Counter Offer, within 24 hours of getting news of your “terms”. I honestly am happy to take you to court and keep taking you to court to get justice if that is necessary!
I am going to be generous this one time and ONLY one time with you. If you fail to agree, I will be very happily see you in court.
Here is my one time counter, it will NEVER get better than this:
1. Sidney will receive $450 a month, until Sidney has completed high school, age 18 and 4 months. This is a permanent amount, that neither of us will change, so no I will not be coming back to you and asking for more later. You will call and deny I pay you more child support and then we have you pay me thru the court system.
2. You will agree that I have full physical and legal custody of Sidney, we can keep joint of Mallory, unless she chooses to come live with me. If Mallory also comes to live with me, I will also take full physical and legal of her as well and you will then pay an additional $450 a month for her until she leaves high school. I can’t disagree more with how you parent. Me and my children will not be living under your rules if we are not in your home. Therefore, this is unconditional 100% under my custody when they live with me.
3. I accept that you pay half of Drivers Ed and provide coverage for her dental insurance and health insurance.
4. All money of Sidney is managed by me and I can send you semi- annual updates on the status. Court documents will be amended again saying this. I will have all of her money to be managed by a third party, my brother in law Craig until she is age 18, Neither you nor I will take any funds from her account or have access to manipulate the funds in her account. He has agreed not to charge any personal fees to manage her money. He has made millions in the stock market.
You gave me 24 hours, so i offer you the same, you have 24 hours to respond, thru Sidney as you had me do. If I do not agree, we will take this to court and I will be going for the full amounts, braces, auto insurance expenses and full control of all.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only. If you did the child support calculations and you should be getting $900 at least, then you offering to settle for $450 and full custody is generous as is the remainder of your offer. You need to point out in #1 that the amount you are asking is 1/2 or less of what the state will order him to pay in court, not to mention him paying attorney's fees on top of that. Other than the minor change to the first point, your offer is reasonable.Now, I would suggest you remove the "barbs" from your counteroffer, so take out the part of about he parents and about living under his rules, that is counter productive and more likely to anger than encourage acceptance. You should also add in #3, The children will both be given a reasonable opportunity to decide who to live with free from any interference of either parent and their decision shall be binding on each of us. We will use (pick a neutral third party) to discuss this with the children and ask them to decide. Otherwise, your counteroffer is fine.

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