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My husband had an affair that produced a child. I found out

My husband had an affair...
My husband had an affair that produced a child. I found out when the child was 3 months old. We agreed to work it out. We paid her child support that was not court ordered. The other woman is very unstable and in July of 2012, chased my husband in her car before he called the cops on her. I couldn't take anymore and filed for a legal separation. He begged me not to do it. I told him I wouldn't but if he ever lied and did this again. I would have it reinstated. I found out at the beginning of this year, he was doing it again. He was seeing her and his child. It was more for the child then her. We had agreed that this would be done together. He was lying and sneaking again. I reinstated the agreement and it was finalized on July 30 this year. The other woman had filed for child support the same month I reinstated. Now her attorney is saying that we are not legally separated and we are doing deposition this Tuesday. They are trying to get more child support for other woman. My child support and alimony take most of my husbands net income. He's broke. He stays at our house some nights with the kids in their room on the floor and watches them on his day off when I have to work. We are separated and he stays at his friends house. Can they prove otherwise? What is this depo for and what will be asked? I'm scared because I did everything by the book and have heard of attorney's twisting words around. I don't want my kids to suffer any more than they already are.
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10/30/2013
Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 102,955
Experience: Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
Verified
Hello friend. My name is XXXXX XXXXX welcome to JustAnswer. Please note: (1) this is general information only, not legal advice, and, (2) there may be a slight delay between your follow ups and my replies.

I am very sorry for your situation. This is very important - can you please clarify if he is paying you child support as well via separation?

This is not an answer, but an Information Request. I need this information to answer your question. Please reply, so I can answer your question. Thank you in advance.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Yes. He is currently paying me court ordered support for my 2 kids and alimony.

Okay. I see what is going on. A second please while I type out the answer - once I explain it, it will "click" for you, I promise.
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What the other attorney is attempting to do is to argue that the two of you are not really separated. But... why?

Allow me to explain:

1) The court calculates child support based on the monthly net-income for the visiting parent - see here. However, this is often amended to include for other issues.

2) The attorney likely believes that you and he got separated in an effort to LOWER his child support, and/or, to make any assets he had available to him less likely to be attached for child support, etc, if he defaults on payment (since then, they would be formally distributed between the two of you and your part would not be included).

3) In short, the attorney may believe that the separation is a SHAM to lower his child support/liability.

4) Can they prove otherwise?

Well... they can ARGUE otherwise, but unless they have convincing evidence, then it is all argument. The Judge would decide based on hard evidence.

What is this depo for and what will be asked?

Likely, the attorney will quiz you about how much he makes and what really happened with the separation. Provided that one sticks to ONE version of the events and confirms that the separation was indeed real, then one has nothing to worry about. Do not let them bully you. Take a deep breath. They're just human - they're not vultures. Don't let the attorney make you believe that she has something on you, because she does not. She is simply trying to intimidate you. Attorneys are good at that. But in the end, they are more bark than bite. You have done nothing wrong here.

Gentle Reminder: Please use the REPLY button to keep chatting, or RATE my answer when we are finished. Kindly rate my answer as one of the top three faces and then submit, as this is how I get credit for my time with you. Rating my answer the bottom two faces does not give me credit and reflects poorly on me, even if my answer is correct. I work very hard to formulate an informative and honest answer for you; please reciprocate my good faith. (You may always ask follow ups at no charge after rating.)
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Will I be asked to testify at the trial on December 23 too?

Hello and thank you for your follow up.

Will I be asked to testify at the trial on December 23 too?

I do not know if you would be, however, you could be, due to your closeness to the case, which leads you to be an (arguably) important witness.

If so, she would have to subpoena you formally and you'd know ahead of time.

Gentle Reminder: Please use the REPLY button to keep chatting, or RATE and submit your rating when we are finished.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


They won't be able to "take" my husband for more money then they already are will they? He already works 60-70 hours per week just to support everyone. I don't want anymore of his time taken away from the kids.

Friend,

They won't be able to "take" my husband for more money then they already are will they?

Not unless they can show that he is hiding money somewhere. Unlikely.

He already works 60-70 hours per week just to support everyone. I don't want anymore of his time taken away from the kids.

Please see the calculator link. Really, they cannot go past the amount mandated per the statute.

Gentle Reminder: Please use the REPLY button to keep chatting, or RATE and submit your rating when we are finished.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Thank you for answering my questions. Just one more. Should I hire an attorney to go with me on Tuesday to the deposition or is it something I can do myself?

Friend,

Thank you for answering my questions.

My pleasure.

Just one more. Should I hire an attorney to go with me on Tuesday to the deposition or is it something I can do myself?

While no attorney is mandated, one is strongly recommended. May I recommend the Illinois Bar referral program - here. The attorneys are vetted and qualified. You should be able to find an attorney you are confident with and whom you can trust, and who is available ASAP.

Gentle Reminder: Please use the REPLY button to keep chatting, or RATE and submit your rating when we are finished.
Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 102,955
Experience: Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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Ely
Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 102,955
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