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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12620
Experience:  Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
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I have been with a married man for 19 years. He left his wife

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I have been with a married man for 19 years. He left his wife in January of this year. He has been staying between me and his daughter. He has recently started giving me cash to help with the household expenses. His atty told him today that there is a trail and he can no longer help me out while living with me. I am scared that they will be knocking on my door. Do I need to close my accounts? Do I need to hire an atty to protect me? Do I let him continue to live in my home?

Brandon M. :

Hello there.

Brandon M. :

Hi. It appears that you have joined the chat. Welcome. Can you see this?

Customer: Yes
Brandon M. :

Great. Thank you for your question. Why is he receiving advice from an attorney? Is this related to a divorce from his wife?

Customer: Yes his atty is aware of our relationship. He gives me 2000.00 Cash per month that I put in my bank
Brandon M. :

That makes sense. For a divorce lawyer, the transfer of funds to a love interest could be relevant for purposes of the divorce. The love interest ordinarily wouldn't face any consequences for receiving monetary gifts, but the spouse giving the money could have to reimburse the faithful spouse for the gifts that were made. There may be other peripheral issues within the divorce proceeding that could be affected by the transfer of funds to a love interest, but those issues would only affect the parties in the divorce, not the love interest or any other third party. So I could see why a husband's divorce attorney might be concerned about the transfer of cash to an outside love interest, but it wouldn't normally affect the love interest directly. I should be clarify that the nuances of every case are different, so this information should not be relied upon as complete or advice without discussing the details in person with counsel, but I don't see any reason why anyone would be knocking on anyone else's door.

Customer: This is his divorce atty
Customer: Is it safe for him to live here or should we wait until final divorce.
Customer: Do I need legal counsel?
Brandon M. :

I'm glad that you asked. Illinois is one of only a few states that recognizes a civil cause of action for "alienation of affections". This allows a spouse to sue the other spouse's lover for breaking up the marriage. You should get a consultation with an attorney to discuss representing you in case you feel like you might get sued. It's entirely possible that you will never be sued, but having an attorney that is familiar with your case will allow you to quickly extinguish any problems that arise, and will give you someone from whom you can get advice if you need it quickly.

Brandon M. :

Does that make sense?


Should he stay here or is it better for him to leave? Yes it does make sense. I appreciate your answers. Im just afraid we will make things worse if he stays with me.

Brandon M. :

Well, I'm concerned that his attorney has told him that he can no longer provide you cash while living with you. If it is legally problematic for him to provide you with money, it's not clear why it wouldn't cause problems to continue living in your home. I don't know for certain that it would cause problems for him to continue living there, but it doesn't sound like there is any uncertainty that living separate would cause a problem.

Brandon M. :

Unfortunately, there are just a too many fill-in-the-blanks to answer that last question with confidence. I don't know for certain.


Thank you so much for your time. I will contact an atty tomorrow.

Brandon M. :

It was my pleasure. Did you have any other question this evening?

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