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originallawyer, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 879
Experience:  9+ years of experience in divorce, custody battles and mediation.
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Question regarding child custody in Michigan

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Hello my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm so thankful for websites like this that make it so convenient for me to achieve peace of mind. So I am 20 almost 21, and my soon-to-be-ex wife is 19. We have a 9 month old son together and are about to have a major divorce.


Now about myself, I am living alone with my own car and business and attending college. I repair/sell computers and cell phones and have a steady income of about $3,000 a month.


I am on Probation for having a little marijuana, I started probation in May and will be off in February. Its a 9 month probation and I only dropped dirty once. They told me it will stay off my record as long as I complete probation.


2 weeks ago my wife and I had a crazy night with her trying to kill herself while I was driving, and me cutting her in self defense. Well I got arrested that night and spent 2 days in jail and later the charges were dropped and the detective forced her into therapy.


That is a pretty bad start but now her turn, about my wife: I have called the police on her in the last 12 months about 8 times. I just got to take a look at the police reports and they were despressing, leaving out key details.

I called once because she threatened me with a knife (police report left that out, just said we had a dispute) I called again because she sent me about 400 texts in an hour going "BOOM BITCH" and harassing me. Detective called me the next day and I told him everything is fine now.

I called because she had broken into my house( i know we are married) and the cops went to her house and she admitted to breaking in and taking a few things she thought she owned. Detective called me the next day and asked if I wanted to press charges, me loving my wife I told him no.

Her dad called the cops to try to find her after I told him she was trying to kill herself. Cops called me, I let them know she was at my house, and I brought her to them. They determined she was fine ,BUT that night she crashed her car into my house ( hit the garbage bin) and tried swallowing dish soap before she threw it up. Things that I didn't tell the police in order to keep her out of a suicide watch program or something.

She has cheated on me while we were married but the only proof I managed to get is some guy texting her at 2 am trying to meet up, I video recorded her phone and pulled up that text. She never replied to that specific text but was talking to the guy.

She lives with her parents.

Now I was extremely discouraged after I read the police reports because key details were left out, but I do have many witnesses , including family members, that have seen her crazy side. I also have some of her texts saying " you're never going to see your son" and others with extreme, EXTREME, profanity.


I feel that all hope is lost and if this is taken to trial, I will lose without a doubt. My biggest concern is for me to retain ongoing custody of my son after the divorce. I'm not expecting anyone to know the exact outcome, but should I even bother hiring a lawyer or am I just losing my son due to the probation and cutting her with a knife ( in self defense because she tried, and partially succeeded, steering my car into a wall while I was driving, and injuring me with documented bruises during the drive)? Please advise., and thank you for your counsel. 

Yes, it is still worth it to hire an attorney. I don't think your case is an automatic loss, and I would encourage you to sit down and speak with an attorney in your area who knows the Judge that will be hearing your case. Even though the police reports may not be as detailed as you like, they can still show a pattern of erratic behavior on her part. Based on what you've told me, depending on the Judge you're in front of, you might have a chance of full custody, and certainly visitation if you desired it.

I especially encourage you to hire an attorney if your wife will have an attorney. The fact that the charges regarding the knife incident were dropped will be in your favor, as will the fact that she was sent into counseling.

Let me know if there's anything else I could clarify for you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you so much, that helps me a lot.

A few more questions:


-Does the fact that I dropped charges on 2 occasions help me case? I have a heart and never wanted the mother of my son to go to jail or even have to get near it.


-Also , the fact that numerous people have seen her act erratically is all hear-say I'm guessing? My friend finally told me after all this that she tried seducing him, i'm not sure if any of that matters.


My parents will be paying for the lawyer and assured me the best lawyer will be found, a local lawyer that knows the judge will definitely be my top priority.


I thought I would never see my son, this brings me great hope.

Worst case scenario, you should get visitation with your son.

You should discuss with your attorney the possibility of calling witnesses to speak on your behalf who can speak to her erratic behavior. It's not hearsay if they are physically present in court and can testify to her behavior.

Dropping charges looks like 1 of two things:
1) it looks like what she did wasn't so bad after all, or at least not bad enough to make you take your son and leave,
2) Or it makes you look like you wanted to keep your family together so you gave her a few chances and now you're realizing she's not getting any better.

Hopefully your lawyer will be able to spin it the second way.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Ok thank you so much i will be asking one more question that I feel wasn't really addressed


Does my marijuana probation mean nothing?


I WILL provide hair samples (dating back to 3 months of use)

Blood tests

and urine tests .


Final question, huge relief, thank you very much.

There are worse things you could be on probation for, I'll put it that way. If you've been clean for a considerable period of time and remain clean, and complete your probation, I don't know that it's going to be a big issue.
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