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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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My wife cheated on me with a guy from work and left the marital

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My wife cheated on me with a guy from work and left the marital home and left me holding the bag for all of those responsibilities. We have a 10 yr old son. She has devolved into a welfare type animal looking for the maximum payout from me in our divorce.
It really pisses me off that someone can stoop so low, take all the personal belongings she could get before I changed the locks and now want me to pay her child support. Where the hell is the justice in that?
We were married in the bahamas 13 yrs ago. She has yet to file for divorce and we were going to work through mediation with what i thought was shared custody (but apparently that doesn't equate to shared expenses)
I am in Florida btw and am just curious what recourse if any I have.
If I file the divorce action first is there any chance she would have to pay me support? What can I do to overcome the odds that are slanted in the womans favor?
Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.

I will try my best to help. What are your current financial standings? By that I mean, dos she work, do you work, and what is the difference n income? beyond demanding funds from you for everything, is there any sort of of 'unfitness' on her end that you can point to, specifically toward raising children?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We both work, monthly net incomes are approximately

me - 4100 her- 2200

Not really anything glaring although her previous marriage resulted in one son and the father kept custody of that son in the divorce.

Thank you for your follow-up, Rick.

Has she formally admitted to the adultery to you? Can you prove it if needed?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Yes she has and I'm not sure i can prove it per se....but I know the details and persons involved.

The challenge of course will be that I have had my own affair after she left the home 4 months ago and am now in a new relationship.


Thank you for your patience. Yes, your new relationship does not help much. If she pursued a relationship and so did you, she could equate your behavior to hers. I was hoping that it could at least be used to fight her on alimony should she attempt to pursue it as well.

Here are the facts as I see them--should you have any further need for clarification, please use the 'reply' button and I will be happy to reply.

1. The courts do look at income and at the income disparity when figuring out a dissolution. Who files first is irrelevant and does not affect the case, but if one party is deemed to be more financially independent, the courts tend to try to make that party cover more of the expenses, and likewise be more responsible for support. In your case having fairly higher income does create an opportunity for her to seek spousal support as well as child support if she obtains custody.

2. The way to fight custody is to show to the courts that having the child with you is somehow in the 'best interest of the child', as that is the standard that the courts utilize. While in the past the courts were far more one-sided to husbands, that is no longer quite the case as more factors are looked at. The courts will look to factors such as history of abuse, neglect, domestic violence, drug use, alcohol abuse, mental illness, criminality, moral turpitude, and characteristics of the proposed home to both parties so as to figure out who is more fit. That is your opportunity--if you have evidence of her being unfit, use that in court. If you can do so, you could potentially convince the judge to obtain custodial rights. The more rights you obtain and the more time the child spends with you, the lass support you have to pay out. If you obtain full rights, then she will be required to pay you in this instance.

Good luck.

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