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originallawyer, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 879
Experience:  9+ years of experience in divorce, custody battles and mediation.
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Today when I went to visit my mother at her adult day care

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Today when I went to visit my mother at her adult day care one of the social workers asked if my sister, Lisa knows that I'm here. I asked her why would she need to know? She answered because she has Power of Attorney and she's in charge! I said my sister doesn't have guardianship, are you saying I have to get authorization from my sister to visit my own mother??!! Another social worker higher up joined in and said you aren't allowed to have your mother sign anything, your sister told us about you blah, blah. My sister was also on the speaker phone visiting with us. My sister in charge has made it difficult for all of my sisters who are out of state to speak with my mother. She doesn't return their texts or phone calls so when I visit with my mother I phone my sisters and they can visit via cell phone. Both of the social workers literally accused me of things that have never even occurred, they yelled at me to get off my cell phone. When the higher supervisor got involved she got everything under control, but I told them I will definitely seek legal advice on this matter! My mother has not been deemed incapacitated legally or even close to it. I told the social workers that my mother should decide if i should visit not my sister who only has Power of Attorney! I want to know what can be done to address this matter legally. I am going to do something about it for sure - they accused me of upsetting my mother when they are the ones who approached me in a confrontational manner. I have no history of abuse or anything ever in my life, me and my sisters are very loving daughters and no one could ever accuse us of anything other than dedicated to our parents.

You're absolutely right. Until your mother can no longer make her own decisions AND your sister is appointed guardian, your sister doesn't have any right to prevent you from seeing your mother.


I'm glad APS got involved, as that's really the best thing you can do at this point. It would be a good idea to ask your mom to right down her wishes in terms of visitors, phone contact, etc and for you all to sit down and talk about this before your mom moves in with your sister. Otherwise, down the road, if the worst should happen and your mother becomes incapacitated, you would need to ensure that your sister either didn't get guardianship of her, or was very closely watched.


In terms of the adult day care, you can make a formal complaint against them here if you want to make sure that it gets addressed. Right now that's probably the most effective thing you could do, as filing a law suit against them would likely not result in any measurable outcome other than you spending your own money.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

APS contacted me today and said they called the day care and they said they stepped in because they overheard me asking my mother if she wants to move in with me and that's against the rules (?) First of all I did not ask my mother that! I don't have room in my home to ask her to move in. My sister who was talking to my mother on speaker phone lives in Chicago and there's no way she would ask my mother.

Anyway, the day care has lied about how they approached us, they lied about what they told us, they lied about their accusations toward me, they lied about how they spoke with my mother. My sister is my only witness.

We are both devestated that people can get away with lying. If I did hire a lawyer to file a civil suit accusing them of distorting information and making accusations and upsetting my mother and I haven't been able to stop crying because of all the things they said to me! They said my sister in charge warned them about me and other offensive stuff and all I wanted to do is visit my mother in peace. Our visits won't be the same - I feel sick about this whole thing!