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I am representing myself. Is this too harsh? The purpose

I am representing myself....
I am representing myself. Is this too harsh?
The purpose of this motion is to review the myriad of ways in which my son’s rights have been and continue to be violated by Miss V and to innumerate the LIES and MISREPRESENTATION of facts that have led the Court to violate my child’s rights as well.
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Answered in 3 minutes by:
7/6/2013
P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35,677
Experience: 16 yrs. of experience including family law.
Verified
Thanks for the chance to help. I am an attorney with over 12 years experience. Hopefully I can help you with your legal question.

Rhetoric, I believe, should be neutral in a motion except to highlight clearly supportable points you want to make. You are using all caps...is that in the motion??
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Yes, I see that opposing counsel does the same with his motions.

Every lawyer has their own style. Personally, I like to undersell and over deliver. I find that most effective with my style. So in my motions, I refrain from hyperbole

I think it can distract a judge...and backfire (if you promise and do not deliver, you tend to alienate the judge)

Are you supporting the assertions with evidence (other than your statements)?
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

12 pages of evidence, yes.

Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Can I have you review the motion for a fee?

Sorry for the delay...I can not review the motion (that would violate the terms of service of this site)....but lets talk a bit more...you say "12 pages of evidence"...so are you referring to specific documents, reports, extrinsic evidence? Basically evidence other than your statements that support the motion?
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Yes, will include my phone records to show that her definition of "harassing" the pediatrician only shows 4 calls over 6 months.


 


Will include audio cd with pediatrician convo where she says she didn't think there was any harassment.


 


Will include evidence of text messaging where mother refuses to tell me how she secretly baptized my son.


 


Will include text messaging where she says she will not call me to discuss my son's pneumonia.


 


Will bring up COI where mother says "she does not believe I am a danger to her or her son"


 


Will bring up psych eval that says I am not a danger to myself or anyone


 


Will bring up that child's attorney didn't read the psych eval based on the fact that he called me a medical student, not a doctor as described in the psych eval, yet he proceeded to make recommendations for supervised visits


 


Will bring up that the mother cancelled my birthday visit with my son


 


Will bring up that there was no answer to my texts inquiring about my son on father's day


 


 


 

yes...that is what you want. That is, you want to be able to back up your argument with facts.

What you describe? It sounds like you have plenty

I looked at

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByGlWyPSnNE_QVZnS2l6ZUIxVTQ/edit?usp=sharing

Briefly

I can not edit this for you...that would go well beyond the scope of this forum...and would take a great deal to time to even begin to try and digest it/give critique

But consider this...you have a LOT of information there. (also..it is not double spaced...is there not a court rule requiring submission be 2x spaced).

With so much information you run a risk that you overload the judge.

Consider going through and picking out the high points. The ones where you have hard evidence (like phone records, texts, statements, etc) that score the most points and put them up front.

Then perhaps leave the rest out...or save for oral argument or rebuttal.

Again, every lawyer has their own style. What works for me will not, necessarily, work for you.

But one mistake I see beginners make is they try and include everything, in fear of missing something.

Consider the bigger picture....make the point. Move on. The judge will appreciate it.

Let me know if you have more questions...happy to help if I can

P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35,677
Experience: 16 yrs. of experience including family law.
Verified
P. Simmons and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
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P. Simmons
P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35,677
35,677 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 16 yrs. of experience including family law.

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