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TJ, Esq.
TJ, Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12250
Experience:  JD, MBA
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I just submitted it regarding my husband Paul, a resident of

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I just submitted it regarding my husband Paul, a resident of NE, suing me for divorce & final hearing is 7/18. I cant get a screen when I click on "Get an Answer", so please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email me at the above address. Thank you, Pamela.
Hello and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to assist you.

What is your question? I don't see that you're asking for anything, but I'll be happy to help if you clarify what legal info you need. Thank you!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Yes, thank you for your response. I hope that the $54 debited from my checking acct covers multiple questions/answers, as I will be representing myself as I'm unable to afford an attorney to be with me at the Dixon Cou. Courthouse, Ponca, NE on July 18. I am in Oregon and my husband Paul has lived in NE basically all his life & he has 4 children by previous marriage all between ages 10-15. We were married 3/9/2012 in Oregon; he flew back to NE while I continued to work for Capitol One at $12/hr full time. He flew back to Portland on May 12, 2012 and we drove back together & I moved into his house, quitting my job, with a man I'm still very much in love with and will always love. Paul questioned the legitimacy of our marriage several times and had so much anxiety about whether it was legal, that I checked with the Oregon Judge who married us as well as Just Answer, and everyone said it is legal. Now he has an atty, after suing for divorce after I moved back to OR on August 1. I was served Feb 26. I was only given the chance to live my dream with him for 2months, 6 days before his verbal abuse, accusations of lying to him (which I told him many times I would never lie to him and never have). He has lied to me, and told me he was Christian. God blessed our marriage and he let the oldest girl of 13 rip our marriage apart by her continual jealousy, even though I did many things with my step-children, and got involved as much as I could in their lives, and want visitation from the 2 youngest, Kaitlyn & Maddie, when they are ready. The pain is so intense from all the rejection from Paul, and his oldest child Chris, the only boy, has threatened me over the phone only @ 1 month after I was back. My Dad tried to work with him, but Paul said he was not going to do anything about Chris making up lies about me or threatening me or my cat if I were to return to NE to get the many personal items I left there, as I didn't think I was going to be gone long. I know his attorney is going to attempt to make my sacred marriage look like it was some short deal, that I was only trying to leave OR because I was on probation for misdemeanor DUI conviction & had to have permission to leave state. I got that permission on May 21, 2012, for 30 days and then on 6/11/12 I was given bench probation. Many things that happened proved our marriage was blessed as God opened doors for us to always be together. Paul did not stand up & protect me against lies from hurting & confused children. The oldest girl Brook always stayed with us on weeks that other children went to their mother's, only a couple miles away, up until the last 2 wks. Paul would consistently disrespect what I told the children as far as to sleep in their own beds or a reasonable bed hour, comprimising our very privacy, so that i caught a child with her face at the @2" crack at the bottom of the manufactured home master beroom door on the last nite that Paul and I were together. So, now that you know a bit of background, here are my questions/dilemas of what his lawyer, Dennis Ringgenburg of Sioux City, IA, will present as I prepare for the next 2 weeks before trial:


1.Is our marriage legal, even though his divorce to previous marriage was finalized until Jan. 2012 and NE has a law that says a person cannot marry anyone in world for 6 months after the decree--OR doesn't recognize that.


2. How can I make sure that none of my step-children are in the courtroom on 7/18? and is there anyone of his family, like my mother-in-law, that I can have excused from the courtroom in the beginning if she is present? or any other member of his family who chastised him about marrying me because it had not been 6 months, but only 3.


3. I will be asking for $900/mo. alimony for 2 yrs because he wants to sweep me under the rug instead of recognizing that I am a beautiful, godly, loving, talented & giving & smart person who came to her husband on her knees sometimes to avoid his growing verbal abuse which i feared could turn physical. The alimony is reasonable? and is less than lost wages at Capitol One, and includes no punitive damages. Paul knows that if he drops the divorce which the kids are pressuring him & probably others in his family, that I do not want a dime of his money. But he must be held accountable if he presses onward with this after he only gave me 2 months before he told me to leave. I didn't know it was a test that I could be just kicked out of my dream life if I didn't pass all the tests and had no one lie about me. It is life saving that God doesnt love conditionally like that.


Thank you for your time & attention to all these very important items and most of all for hearing my crying heart. By the way, Paul frequently cussed at God when he got mad at me which shocked me.


Please respond to my phone, XXX-XXX-XXXX or to my email at [email protected].


Thank you so much,


Pamela S. Madsen

Hi again.

Q: 1.Is our marriage legal, even though his divorce to previous marriage was finalized until Jan. 2012 and NE has a law that says a person cannot marry anyone in world for 6 months after the decree--OR doesn't recognize that.
A: Yes, it is legal because you got married in Oregon, not in Nebraska. All that matters is that the marriage was legal in the state where the marriage ceremony was held. If it was legal there, then it is legal everywhere.

Q: 2. How can I make sure that none of my step-children are in the courtroom on 7/18? and is there anyone of his family, like my mother-in-law, that I can have excused from the courtroom in the beginning if she is present? or any other member of his family who chastised him about marrying me because it had not been 6 months, but only 3.
A: Unfortunately, you cannot prohibit the step-children or other family members from being in the courtroom. Court is a public place, so judges must allow people in the courtroom except in rare cases where somebody is being disruptive, or where the record needs to be sealed (such as with juveniles). I wish that I could give you better news, but if they appear, then the judge will let them in the courtroom.

Q: 3. I will be asking for $900/mo. alimony for 2 yrs because he wants to sweep me under the rug instead of recognizing that I am a beautiful, godly, loving, talented & giving & smart person who came to her husband on her knees sometimes to avoid his growing verbal abuse which i feared could turn physical. The alimony is reasonable?
A: That depends on many factors, and how the judge weighs the factors. For example, the income of both you and your spouse, the length of the marriage, the education of you both, the assets, the debts, your ability to support yourself, etc. Even if you shared with me all of the facts regarding those factors, I still couldn't say for sure how a judge would rule because he has discretion in these matters, and it depends on how the judge personally weighs each factor. I will say, however, that the length of the marriage will be a problem. Alimony is not usually awarded in cases where the marriage was so short. On the other hand, you can argue that you moved for him and essentially gave up your life, and you're merely asking for $900 for 2 years, which is just enough time for you to get settled so that you can support yourself. I think it could go either way. At the least, it is reasonable to ask for the alimony. When you do, make sure that you point out what you gave up to be with your husband, and the (presumed) struggle you will have supporting yourself after the marriage if the alimony is not awarded.


You also wrote: But he must be held accountable if he presses onward with this after he only gave me 2 months before he told me to leave. I didn't know it was a test that I could be just kicked out of my dream life if I didn't pass all the tests and had no one lie about me. It is life saving that God doesnt love conditionally like that.

I agree with you. That makes no sense, except in cases of abuse where it is obvious that the marriage cannot last. In this situation, it sounds like he just gave up without giving it any thought and without any real effort. You certainly have my support. Good luck!

Does that answer your question? Please let me know if you need clarification, as I am happy to continue helping you until you are satisfied. Also, your positive feedback is much appreciated. Thank you for using our service!

If you would like to direct additional legal questions to me in the future, then please type "To VAMD" in the subject line of your question.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

re: "To VAMD"


 


Thank you for your thorough reply & prompt. I just want to clarify the children being present in the courtroom.


 


So, even though all the children are juveniles, they can still be present? What do i do if there is some distraction or disruption?


 


Pam

Hi again.

Yes, juveniles are allowed in the courtroom during the divorce. But is there is a disruption then the bailiff will remove them. You can ask the judge if the bailiff can remove them, but more than likely if they are being disruptive, then the judge will see it himself and order that they be removed.

Does that help? Please let me know if you need further clarification, as I am happy to continue assisting you. Thank you for using our service!

If you would like to direct additional legal questions to me in the future, then please type "To VAMD" in the subject line of your question.

TJ, Esq. and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you