How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dimitry K., Esq. Your Own Question
Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Dimitry K., Esq. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

When I was 21 I had a 3 month old child with my wife. She left

This answer was rated:

When I was 21 I had a 3 month old child with my wife. She left after 6 months of marriage in a going on 5 year relationship. It is true the relationship was not healthy, but I never expected her to leave take the child and give me only 20 bucks in the mailbox, no car. She went to her parents house, her mother specifically. I met a girl and we hit it off well. With no car, she offered to drive me once to court appearance, then later to mediation. In mediation because I brought her with me, my soon to be ex wife said to me that she would make sure I never saw Lexie my daughter again. I had no money, working though, barely making it, I was young. Her lawyer called me to his office, and I went in. He explained that he would represent me to her side. Basically, my soon to be ex wife's mother put more money in and now I was sitting in front of a "voluntary" termination of Parental Rights document. It read it was not reversable and was very sad, and I did not want to sign it. With no money and barley making, her with her mother with money, living with our daughter, baby, what could I do. I could refuse and still not be able to fight a court battle for custody. If I got it, then I would not have money for child support until some time later (least of my concerns at that moment). I got divorced and had signed the papers for termination. It was the hardest day of my life, but I did it for the best interest of my daughter to have a life. Since then, I married again, went to school, worked many jobs hard, and now have had a great job for 12 years as a computer programmer, web, application engineering. I am successful by that measure and have a stable home and two kids with my wife now of 16 years. I mis-read my divorce decree stating that I could not contact my ex wife, family or child. Actually it said at the workplace, enter or use vulgar or threatening tones. I took that as I could not see my daughter. Over the years she has kept my last name and wondered about me. Her mother, my ex wife remarried to a guy she liked at first and then became somewhat abusive is what I understand, so she separated from him for a year in 2011. In 2012 he shot and killed himself leaving his two kids, two kids with my ex they had and my daughter Lexie behind. My ex and 5 kids now move back to her mother's place. Now the relationship between my ex wife and her mother has never been perfect or stable. She doesn't believe my ex can make a good decisions ever. It has always been that way. but she is the first person to pull out the cash and help out my ex. In this case I am glad of course. I have grown up, Lexie my child is now 18 and graduates high school this week. I contacted her mother thinking well now she is an adult by law at age 18. As a courtesy, I contacted her mother, my ex wife; to ask permission to contact Lexie. Turns out Lexie had been asking about me, wants to meet me, wants to know I am a good person, safe. And of course, I am now 39 and very experienced, older and mature Father of two. So, I told her never fear again and tell Lexie I love her. Extend an invitation to her please, if she wants to meet me, she can. I will love her. She said why now? I said, well, I misread our decree, your made me sign those voluntary rights terminstation papers, I agreed. I figured I would just not disturb your and your new family, once she remarried. I thought it best for Lexie not to battle that. The alternative was to leave her wondering if I cared or would ever show up. Now my ex says she doesn't want me to contact Lexie directly, even though she is 18, because she is still living with her and her mom. Her mom could put them out or retaliate on her if I contact Lexie. She is not happy with it. She apologized for making me sign my rights away over the phone, we forgave each other, we talked, I learned some things about Lexie. Now I want to tell her that I am going to watch her graduation on TV, it is public. I want her to know I am here and do care, she has been asking my ex says. So, I am stuck. What do I do. My child is 18. I want to reach out to her. My ex is in a spot and our of nice, I am trying not to destroy any relationships or affect Lexie. Lexie asks, my ex has to lie, she says she feels guilty about the whole thing, but that is how it is. What should I do, what is the best way to handle this and be lawful, fair and still get a message to my daughter before she starts off to college. She might forget me. Even worse, what if something happens to me before we talk, then she loses two fathers. I need some advice. Part of me wants to just message or mail Lexie and the other wants to respect my ex and her situation, but it comes at a cost to me. I have been nice, gentle, cooperative, avoid being pushy and even said I respect you to my ex. I am in a spot and need help. John W. Brock 12700 Travers Trail Keller, Tx 76244. Also, is their any way to re-instate me as her biological Father on paper, legally. Not take possesion, she is 18 now

Thank you for your question. Please allow me to assist you, John.

I realize that you have a very complex issue and what's more, a very emotional issue as well. Please allow me to be direct. Once a child is no longer a child, meaning that once she reaches the age of majority, she is an adult, even if she lives elsewhere.

Texas Civil Practice And Remedies Code 129.001 - Age of Majority is the statute that lists the age of majority as 18.

That means that the other parent cannot control, change, or otherwise interfere with communications between what is essentially two adults. Consequently if you wish to contact her, or find her through alternative media such as facebook or twitter, you can lawfully do so. I cannot tell you if you should do it as that is your own choice, but you absolutely CAN do so lawfully if you choose.

Hope that helps.

Dimitry K., Esq. and 8 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you