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Dave Kennett
Dave Kennett, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27689
Experience:  25 years experience as practicing attorney
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Hello! I have been married for 4 years now. Yet, my husband

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Hello! I have been married for 4 years now. Yet, my husband has been dragging his feet to live with me. He lives in a different state. After a lot of pleading and intervention by friends and family, he moved in with me in Feb 2012 but moved out in July 2012. He claims 'emotional abuse' as a reason for leaving me. He planned his exit from our home in a stealthy way. I don't know his current address. He visited me just twice in April of this year after leaving me, in the name of marriage counselling. The therapy didn't go very far as he was lying there and I could not take it. I am now pregnant from his visit and he is aware. He is still not showing any interest in coming back. He said he will ensure that he takes the kid away once he is born as he claims that I will abuse the kid.

Please suggest the right course of action for me.
Dear JACUSTOMER - Obviously your husband is a troubled man and your should probably stay away from him. Your child will be born during he marriage so he is going to be the legal father however until there is a court order for custody and visitation you can keep the child from him as you have an equal right to the child. If he gets control of the child he could take the child and you would then have the problem of having the child returned. In virtually all cases a newborn child is given to the mother if there is a custody issue, especially if she is nursing. If the father has no address the court would not allow anything but supervised visitation in the case of a divorce. Obviously I cannot make personal decisions for you but from your facts it would appear that you should file for divorce and get a court order for custody of your child. You cannot get any court orders or divorce until the child is born but the father has absolutely no rights to an unborn child so you have no duty to communicate with him or to have any contact with him. Only you can make the decision as to whether you want to continue in this marriage but if you stay then there will be no court orders as to the child or any other issue.
Dave Kennett and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Here is a followup if you don't mind.


My husband threatens to prove in court that I am abusive and says he will definitely get custody of the child. What kind of evidence does the court need? I am a normal woman with a bad marriage. I am financially independent, completely responsible, make a 6 figure income and work as an Engineer.


My husband's W2s are artificially kept low by him. He is also an engineer and makes more than me, but figured out ways of siphoning off part of the income into offshore accounts without showing up in W2s. He has transferred above 50K in US dollars into an undisclosed offshore account from our joint account back in 2010. I have maintained separate accounts since as I still don't have answers on what he did with that cash.


Given my husbands income is less than 60K (I don't have evidence to prove what he does, except I know he does it). Mine is twice as much as his income (though I have fewer years experience in the same field).


I am worried about two things:


1. He is a very smart person. He can play with words and convince anybody of anything. Will he succeed in getting child custody and separate me from the baby? He threatens me of it.

2. Will he get alimony from me because of our income situation?


Thanks in advance.

He would have to prove you are abusive to the child, not him, and since the child is unborn that would be difficult to prove. Income has nothing to do with who gets custody and since this is such a short term marriage I seriously doubt there would be any alimony however some small amount could be possible. The longer you stay married the greater the chances are that you would have to pay alimony. The best suggestion I can offer in a situation like this is not to listen to anyone but an attorney and certainly not your husband. What he says or threatens means nothing and no matter how "smart" he is it is very doubtful that he could get a court to take a newborn child away from its mother unless you were a really bad person or on drugs etc.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you! Appreciate your advice.

No problem and thanks for using our service - Dave