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Dave Kennett
Dave Kennett, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27689
Experience:  25 years experience as practicing attorney
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Hello,My girlfriend of 18years has been having a affair we

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My girlfriend of 18years has been having a affair we have 2 children 16 and 11 together and 3 months ago she never returned home leaving the children in my custody.I have tried numerous times to come to a piecful visitation agreement asked for no financial support only what role in the chidrens life she would like to have.Her mother became ill with a stroke in southern ca and she is now there to care for her. My 16 year old has gone to visit and is taking some classes to make up some credits in school.I was against him going but she assured me she just wanted to help out.I am getting the impression she may try to keep him. She is now requesting that when my 11 year old son finishes school can he come visit. Can keep them?This is the second time in 2 years she has left with this man.
And now I believe he is now in southern ca with her and engaged. Can you inform me of my rights. I live in northern ca bay area
-Could you explain your situation a little more?
Are there any court orders for custody of the children?
Have you ever acknowledged paternity or are you on the birth certificates?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No court orders no custody agreement and yes I am on the birth certificate
Dear Customer - Under these circumstances you and the mother have an equal right to the children but neither of you have anything that can be enforced in court to have a child returned from a visit or to demand some type of visitation time etc. Basically it is a free for all when the parents are not married and there are no court orders. So you have no obligation to send your other child for a visit and she has no court order to force you to do so. The reverse is true with the other child. Since there is no legal relationship between the two of you there is nothing illegal about either of you having an affair as it simply is a matter of personal trust and no something that a court would ever consider as a factor in any child custody or visitation unless the affair was with someone who had a felony record or somehow presented a danger to the children. My suggestion would be for you to establish your paternal rights by filing a motion for custody of your children and get a court order to define who has what rights to the children and when. Without a court order you are in a position to do what you want when the children are with you and she can do the same. It may work when the two of you are together and things are going well but when a situation like this occurs you can obviously see the problems.
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