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xavierjd, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 3400
Experience:  20 yrs exp. in divorce, custody, visitation & support .
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Good Evening, I want to present in court evidence that will

Customer Question

Good Evening,

I want to present in court evidence that will show how often I call and get a hold of my kids versus how times I call overall. How would you present this to the judge?

Communication with my children is supposed to be private. However, my ex's new husband is always sitting next to my kids during the calls and in our video chats. Anytime the kids talk, they are always looking to the side as if in a terrorist ransom video. How can I write this ensure my point is addressed?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  xavierjd replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for using It will be my pleasure to assist you today.

Is there currently an Order in place with the family court indicating how often you can have phone contact with your children?

Is there currently an Order regarding the "privacy" of your conversations with your children?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
The temporary order reads as follows:

1. The Defendant will contact the children at a reasonable time and the contact should be of reasonable duration considering the ages fo the children and their bedtime as well as school activities. (the kids are now 14, 12, 10, 8)

2. Communication between the children and the defendent will be kept private.

She will not give them the pass code to check messages on the house phone, messages left for the children are not being passed on.

The two phones I have provided for them is kept in their mothers room and can only be accessed through her permission.

The last issue is the stepfather who is the intimidating force in the phone calls and video chats.
The order clearly states that a stepfather or paramour will not interfere in the relationship between the children and father.

How would you write these in legal terms to ensure I am not wasting the judges time?

Thank you again.
Expert:  xavierjd replied 4 years ago.
Hi Kevin,

It may be that you should ask that the children (especially the older ones) be interviewed by the judge "in camera/in chambers." That means that the judge would speak with the children individually about what is going on in their mother's home. The interview would include whether the children are being prohibited from having private conversations with you, as well as information regarding video chats.

An "in camera/in chambers" interview is STRICTLY PRIVATE between the children and the judge. The reason for the privacy is so that the children do not feel pressured to choose one parent over the other parent. This type of interview is a VERY helpful tool for the judge to use as s/he considers all of the evidence put forth.

As far as how to present the phone calls, etc., you may wish to place each time you have attempted to have contact with the children and how many times you have been able to speak to the children (and for how long) in the form of a log or a calendar. The best way to present this as evidence is in the form of a log or calendar.

Regarding the video chats and intimidation of the children, unless you have some type of recording or video of the problem, the only way to present this type of evidence is through your own testimony and the testimony of your children. However, it is NOT in the best interests of the children to be put on the stand and to be cross examined. That is way an in camera/in chambers interview is best.

The point is that from your standpoint, the Court's Order is being violated by your ex because she is not allowing consistent communication with your children, and even when she does allow communication, it isn't private. The children are being used as "pawns" in the chess game that is called "divorce."

I hope you find this information useful.

My goal is to provide you with excellent service – if you feel you have gotten anything less, please reply back, I am happy to address follow-up questions.

Thank you for your business!


Many customers have asked how they can specifically direct a question to me in the future. If you specifically want me to assist you in your legal matter, just put "xavierjd” in the subject line and I will gladly pick up the question as soon as I am on-line.

***Answers given are for informational purposes only and are not meant to replace the advice or assistance of an attorney licensed to practice law in your state. If you need any more information, please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you!

xavierjd and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  xavierjd replied 4 years ago.
Hi Kevin,

Thank you so much for the "accepting" my answer! It is greatly appreciated and I am glad that you found the information useful.

If you have future questions, you can specifically request me by name as the expert.

Thanks again,


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