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Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31729
Experience:  BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters
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husband and i are separated under one roof as of January 2012

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husband and i are separated under one roof as of January 2012 and signed a separation agreement through mediation that only considered child custody and temporary finances details (took care of some credit card debts but not at all all of the psa) . Since i lost my job June 2012 and he wants to keep the house we both bought together 10 years ago, we agreed he will continue paying the morgage on his own until we would do the psa. I took off with our son for the summer to spend time with my family in latin america. But he did not give us any money. Upon return, he hadn't done anything he was supposed to such us search refinancing options under his name (this was last September 2012). He has not provided me with any spousal support assuming that I am still under the one roof. We hadn't gone back to mediation because we are supposed to talk first ourselves. He is still saying he is figuring out whether he has to refinance, sell the house. My savings are depleting and since he is not giving me any spousal support, my family in Latin America is waiting for me and my son once again for the summer so that they can support me financially and emotionally. I now asked my husband to please at least give me a sort of down payment until he figures out the house situation considering that I haven't received any support from him anyway since we signed that temporary separation agreement which is not comprehensive yet (have not gone back to the mediator since June 2012). since I don't want to go to court and fight, he is taking so long to even have conversations.He is a federal employee and he is afraid to go legally but he knows i don't wan to either. How can I pressure him "legally" scare him at least so that he does the right thing. I refuse to go to court and also I don't have the money to hire a lawyer. Is it ok to ask him for at least e.g. $10,000 or more for now ? and scare him so he moves fast?
Hi - my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm a Family Law litigation attorney. Thanks for your question, and I understand that you want to stay out of court.

However, the only way to force your husband to give you support would be to file a petition for temporary spousal support during the term of your separation.

If you don't seek relief from the court for support, there's no way to force your husband to act. It is certainly possible to inform your husband that if he fails or refuses to pay, that you will have to file an action in court.

Even if you don't want to pursue this, he doesn't have to know that and you can tell him that you're going to pursue this if he doesn't comply.
Roger and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

Hi -

I was checking to see if you had anymore questions or want additional information on some issue we discussed. If so, please let me know. Thanks.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Kirk, I understand and I thank your for the advise but as you saw in my question. I need to know if it is a good move to get the $10k for now while my son and I travel for the summer until my husband gets all done regarding the house, refinancing, etc. The problem now for me is that I can't afford for legal advise yet until I have money. Can I seek the court relief upon our return?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Kirk I am a bit confused. It says thisis a free 7 day trial but now I see there's an extra charge. I do not want to continue paying monthly for a membership here. As I said before i do not have a job and I can't commit to a monthlhy paymentl. Can you help me here and also respond to mhy other questions please

Yes, I can respond to you here, and you won't be charged again - - just do not rate or accept the answers again!

You can also contact customer service to make sure that you're only paying for this question and not a subscription.

BEAR WITH ME JUST A MOMENT and I'll respond. Thanks.
Yes, you can negotiate with your husband to pay you this money now, and if he agrees, then you can put off going to court until you get back. There's nothing wrong with that.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Kirk you are awesome. Blessings. I would like to continue working with you and if I get this money from my husband then I can do the subscription or just wait until next week. But I want to rate you . What can I do to continue in touch with you this 7 days?

If you have another question, you can come back to this link and just post a question here.

The question will not close for some time (months), so you can post right here.

I'll be glad to help any way I can.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Kirk, now we agreed that instead of 10K he will give me $20,000 until husband figures out his finances. He wants to keep our house and buy me out, but he does not know yet whether he will refinance or end up selling it. Until he figures out his finance situation, he wants me to wait for child support and sp0ousal support at least until Jan 2014 (may resolve earlier). In the meantime, since we can't afford 2 homes we've been living under the one roof so I decided to move out and go to where my family is in Peru. Husband and I agree. He thinks is also good for our son to study there for 1 year, but again husband does not commit yet to support. Is it ok to take this 20K as a down payment for the buying out of the house, and maybe ask him for another flat fee for support and school expenses for now? What else will I need for the important issue of custody while I am out of the country with our son? Our temporary (not comprehensive) mediaded agreement only addressed credit card debts, temporary situation (same as explained above....husband ifguring out finances). I plan to come back to USA in Nov. to do all comprehensive PSA. What can I do before our trip this coming JUne ?

Hi -

If he gives you the money without having you sign something in exchange that says this is to be considered as a payment toward buying you out, etc., then the money is just being volunteered by him and couldn't be counted towards buying you out, child/spousal support, etc.

IF you don't want to go to court and ask for temporary spousal support and child support, then this is probably a good deal. Even if you have to agree that this payment is toward his buying out your interest in the home, as long as you are ok with that, then it should be fine.

Everything can be put on hold until you get back in November IF you and your spouse are agreeable to that.