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Category: Family Law
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Experience:  10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
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Can I modify child custody that no unmarried unrelated member

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Can I modify child custody that no unmarried unrelated member of the opposite sex spend time or overnights during my childs visitation with my ex?
Hi! I will be the professional that will be helping you today. I look forward to providing you with information to help solve your problem.

Good afternoon. I certainly understand the situation and your concern as a parent. You can go back to court and seek to have the custody ordered modified. However, it is always important to remember that the Judge is going to act in the best interest of the child. As such, the burden would be on you, as the moving party, to show that the child is being harmed as a result of the current living situation with your ex and this other person. If the Judge finds that this is detrimental to the child, it can be ordered that there be no overnight guests at this time. Of course, if your ex were to move in with this other person, it may be a different situation and something that would need to be modified again but you can ask that they not be around your child, at this time. You want to gather evidence, to present to the Judge, to show why this is a problem.

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Hi Paul. I just wanted to follow up and see if you had any other questions or needed me to clarify something. I am here to help, so please let me know. Thanks!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you Paul! I currently live in Utah and my ex lives in Hawaii. Last month he moved his girlfriend into his home on base. It is a very very small home at which the master bedroom and my child's room share a jack and jill bathroom. There are no locks on the doors. My child does not know that his girlfriend lives there, doesn't know who she is, therefor has not established a relationship. She is very vocal about her sexual exploits with my ex and has gone so far as to post them in public forums on the internet. I do not find it appropriate or a moral visitation arrangement for her to be in the home when my child is there. He is only 8 years old, and that could potentially be a very confusing and uncomfortable environment, especially given our religious views. I don't know if this information is necessary but I have tried to compromise and he refused stating I was trying to make her "leave her home" He lives in military housing under false pretenses that my child lives with him majority of the year. He wants to have it on paper so he doesn't get into trouble with the housing office and his superiors for being a single soldier living in family housing.

I do understand. The actions of his girlfriend are certainly something for the court to consider, when deciding if the child should be around her. The problem at this point, based upon what you stated above, is that she does live with him. As such, it is going to be hard for the Judge to order that she leave the home, overnight, when the child is present. If he only had day visitation, it would be a different story but to make her leave her home, is much harder to have granted. Of course, if there is fraud going on with the housing office, you could always bring it to their attention if you desired. There is nothing preventing you from bringing your concerns to the Judge and I think there is some validity to them. However, you need to propose an alternative solution, if possible, since the Judge may ask you, where she should go when the child sleeps over.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have asked that at this time because of the unfamiliar circumstances that she return home to her home state during the time my ex has requested visitation, which is the entire month of July. He works nights and isn't able to take leave for the full month. I am adamant that my child be left overnight with her or in the care of a stranger. I offered to pay for her flight home, and even proposed she stay overnight at a friends house for the duration of my child's visit. My ex refused and got very hostile with me. In our divorce decree it states that any disagreements he and I have over the best interest of our child or the decision of the other parent, that I have final say. I told him he could set up mediation, but he has yet to comply. I am not trying to stop him from getting his time with our child. I am however trying to protect my child from a situation that is not healthy, and is way too soon after the divorce, and has been confirmed by my ex to not be a permanent relationship. From the beginning I never wanted the divorce to be more disruptive that it needed to be. He is paying $300 in child support a month, even though he makes $6600 a month. He has told me that I need to justify every dollar of child support I spend. Because this will understandably be brought up with the modification, I wonder if because he hasn't made the appropriate steps to go to mediation to solve our disagreement about the visitation stipulations, and I know for a fact he will not agree to changing the wording of our custody that my son has and will be with me full time, because he doesn't want to lose his housing, risk his career, and pay more in child support. Can I petition for court because I have requested numerous times that he arrange mediation? Or will can he have me held in contempt, as he has threatened, because I have my son living with me, and not what our decree stated? And just a little extra info.. We were married 9 years, he deployed 3 times in the first two years, my son was 3 months the first time he left. He has an addiction to world of warcraft and has emotionally not been present throughout my child's life, contrary to what he delusionally believes. He spent from October 2011-November 2012 in Korea, our divorce finalized in January 2013. My son has been with my the entire time. Since we live across an ocean from each other and he has at least two impending deployments coming up, could I petition for sole custody at least until he is back in the mainland?

The divorce decree is going to control. If it says that you have the final say if there is any issue regarding the best interest of the child, then it would be up to you to determine what happens. If he does not want to comply or thinks he does not need to, then you can try and take him back to court, holding him in contempt. Moreover, unless ordered by the Judge, you do not need to give him an itemized list of what the child support is spent on.
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