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I am a victim of domestic violence. We have been divorced

I am a victim of...
I am a victim of domestic violence. We have been divorced for 21 years. For the past 21 years he has been harassing me, bullying me, and threatening me. When he has come over to see our daughter, he has punched walls, doors, kicked doors, yelled and raged, slammed doors, and stormed out of rooms. He has anger outbursts over the phone and face to face. I have since moved away to Maryland, but he still harasses, terrorizes me, bullies and threatens by email and phone. I have blocked his phone, but I keep his email open as we have a daughter. He has not hurt me physically - yet. He does know where I live in Maryland. I moved from California.

I don't know what to do, and I need help. I fully believe he is capable of physically harming me should something trigger him. I have heard of a Protective Order. Is that what I need? I would also like to know can I have him court-ordered to go to anger management classes and get psychological help? Is there anything else you can suggest to help me? Thank you very much.
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Answered in 3 minutes by:
5/2/2013
Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27,011
Experience: General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
Verified
Hi

I am an attorney with more than 25 years experience. I will provide your information today and look forward to assisting you.

I am sorry to hear of this struggle for you.

If you have a CA custody order how does the visitation work now that you have moved to Maryland?
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

This is a long story, I will attempt to keep it short. I moved back to MD due to family illness and my daughter stayed with him. She is 22 years old. Four months ago I put her in a drug rehab - $40,000. He has paid nothing. He got angry at me because I won't pay any further support for her. He makes $60,000 a year, I make $10 an hour. He has hate and anger - he is also a drug addict. She got into his drugs. He blames me for all of this. It's craziness. My concern is I will be going back to California to help support her emotionally.


 


There's more. But that's the jist of things.

Hi

Thank you. I see.

Well at age 21 neither of you are legally required to support her. And I understand that she needs help. But it is ridiculous that he is wanting child support.

But to answer your question, if you feel that he is a threat to your wellbeing and that you are in imminent danger of harm then yes, when you return to CA you may file for the Restraining Order. You may also request that the Order be effective until he goes to anger management and successfully completes the same. It will be up to the court to make that a condition of the order or not



My goal is to provide you with excellent service – if you feel you have received anything less, please reply back as I am happy to address follow-up questions. Kindly rate me when you are done.
Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27,011
Experience: General practice of law with emphasis in family law.
Verified
Samuel II and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Thank you. I understand that this is not legal advice. My thought is this - I have blocked his phone because I don't want to hear him raging at me. But I left his email open and I will document anything that comes in. He wrote me today and "raged" over email at me. I kept it in a file. He raged at me on the phone a few months ago on my voicemail and threatened me. I made a copy of that voicemail on a CD and have it in a safety deposit box. I believe that he is just digging himself a deeper ditch the more he acts out at me.


 


Would you agree with my thought process on this?


 


And, thank you about the Order. I thought I would be able to request the classes and for him to get help. There are witnesses to all of these years of this. The Interventionist who put our daughter witnessed what happened today. My ex contacted the Interventionist frustrated that he could not get me to react the way he wanted me to.


 


Again, thank you.

Hi

Yes. Absolutely. And all of that documentation is important at a hearing for the protection order. Very important to have witnesses to. So how it works is you will make the application for the Order, it will be granted temporarily and then there will be a hearing where he will have to Show Cause as to why it should not be made permanent.

If he is getting frustrated because he cannot get a rise from you, then I suggest that will be apparent in a court room at that hearing. I suggest you state your facts, answer the court and when talking only look at the judge. Do not shake your head or roll your eyes or make any gestures while he is talking. It will be seen that he is a danger.

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

 


Thank you so very much for your help. Is it possible I can get our exchange emailed to me for my records?


 


Again, thank you.


 


 

Hi

I don't believe there is an email system

However, once you rate good to excellent then you should be able to print this out. I suggest for more information on that you can use the "contact us" button and an administrative staff can instruct you in that regard. I don't handle any of that.

Good luck and thanking you in advance for a positive rating.
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Good morning. You helped me last night, and I thank you for that. I would like to ask another question, if that would be ok. Although we cannot predict my ex-husband's reaction should I go forward with a Protective Order, what negative ramifications, if any, do I face should I do this? I'm not so sure waiting until I move to California is the right way to go. I am planning to visit with my daughter in the near future, and he will know I am coming. I "hate" this that I have to do this, but I have to protect myself.

Good morning

 

And thank you for the follow up

 

I do not see any ramifications in getting the Order.

 

However, it will be difficult to do without you being in CA because the Courts may say "well, how is he a threat to your wellbeing if you are not even there" So you need to have proof that he is an imminent danger.

 

I do not know, if your daughter will be upset with you or not and that is all I can see as a possible consequence to having the PO.

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Got it. Thank you, and yes, I have taken my daughter into account. I believe I will stay with, once I move I will put this into effect. The Interventionist who is involved in this whole mess stated what you said about my daughter as well. The Interventionist, who placed my daughter in rehab, is a witness to the last six months of her father's behaviors towards me - in person when I visited, by phone and email. The father has called him raging at my non-response. Probably my best way to handle this is to ignore him, and as you agreed with me, document whatever he does next. He triggers on no reactions to his anger outbursts. Thank you again. Have a nice day.

Hi

 

You're welcome

 

You enjoy your day, too

 

Good luck with it all

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Samuel II
Samuel II
Samuel II, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
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Experience: General practice of law with emphasis in family law.

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