Family Law

Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Family Law
This answer was rated:

Live in South Jersey. My middle Daughter was brutally murdered

Live in South Jersey....
Live in South Jersey. My middle Daughter was brutally murdered by the Father of her then 2 year old son. He was placed with me on the day her body was recovered by DYFS. Since then, the Father remains in County awaiting trial, and his Parents who had not seen our Grandson are suing me for Custody. It has been a very ugly custody trial, with me being on the stand for the last two full days. I have been crossed like XXXXX XXXXXez as though I am the criminal. Although I do not have a social media account, my niece started one on FB IN Loving memory of my daughter. I write to her what goes on during his hearings, and what happens during the trial, a lot of it is most disgusting. Although I never curse, I am very passionate. An example, during one of the murderer's hearings is mother, and her two children showed up, and were laughing... I am always accompanied by the Victims Advocate who couldn't believe it. I put in my writing, that his disgusting Mother and siblings were laughing, as though they were at a party, not a hearing for your murder. During Monday's custody hearing, their attorney, got up in my face with the printed pages from the FB pages, and started screaming at me, did you call her disgusting, I said yes, ... yes I did, he took one word of a long writing and zoomed in on just that. My oldest daughter plays soccer for the Woman's National Team, and she has won a Gold Medal at last years Olympics, went to the World Cup the year before, this attorney started to scream at me, that my daughter did not speak for some time due to her sexual preference (she is gay), I did not handle it well. I told him that was disgusting, and I never had a problem with it, I love my daughter, and the questions he kept yelling at me, I did not handle them too well, I think they have forgotten I have lost my daughter, and my world has stopped. The Paternal grandparents, live in a trailer, have 3 other children who do not work, one of which has a domestic violence conviction, and must be supervised in my grandson presence. My daughter although she had left the father over a year before her death, they consider it Domestic Violence as he is the Father of her child. My grandson, has several disabilities now, night terrors, he witnessed the murder, he has Apraxia due to the trauma, he is in therapy, and goes to a special school to help him with his disabilities. I am the one who has put all of these in place for him. I do know, my posts have not helped me in the court room, and my inability to just sit there and answer without letting the questions bothering me, plus the fact he broke me several times, that I broke down, which was embarrassing, and not how I wanted to be seen by the murderer in court. Also of note, the murderer has two older children that the paternal grandparents have tried to get visitation through the court system, and they were denied. Ultimately, I would like my oldest within the next few years to raise him full time, as she feels this is what my daughter would want, and purchased a home 1 mile from me to be close. Is there anyway with what I have told you, that I could lose custody to these people? I have an appointment with my attorney, as I have not been very happy with his job on this so far, and I do not want another day on the stand. I actually cannot take it. I want to see what my options are. My grandson also has very bad asthma and uses a nebulizer, and they all smoke, and have been court ordered not to. But every time he returns from a day visit he wreaks of smoke. Is the Judge seeing through this? Or should I be worried. I literally cannot take anymore badgering in the courtroom with this attorney. I still have not had any peace to grieve for my Daughter.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 22 minutes by:
5/2/2013
Roger
Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,796
Experience: BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters
Verified
Hi - my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm a Family Law litigation attorney. Thanks for your question, but I am certainly sorry for your loss and what you're dealing with in regard to this child custody issue.

In child custody cases, there usually has to be a material change in circumstances to even warrant one to seek a change. If so, then the judge must do whatever is in the best interest of the child, and in doing this, judges in New Jersey must consider the following factors listed in N.J.S.A. 9:2-4:

The parent's ability to agree, communicate and cooperate regarding the child;
The parent's willingness to accept custody and share custody with the other parent;
Any history of domestic violence;
The child's and either parent's safety from physical abuse by the other parent;
The child's needs;
The age and number of the children;
The preference of the child if he or she is capable of forming an intelligent decision;
The quality and continuity of the child's education;
The distance between the parents' homes;
The stability of each parent's home environment;
The amount and quality of time spent with the child before the divorce;
The parent's employment responsibilities; and
The fitness of the parents to raise the child.

Basically, the courts generally take the approach that if the current custody arrangement is working well, there's no need to change it. Thus, you should have a good position in this regard, but there's never an absolute right to custody, so there is a possibility that you could lose custody - - but it is an uphill climb for the other side because there's a requirement to prove that you actually are unfit or that the child is in danger, etc., and if the child has been well taken care of, they've got a tough position.
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Mr. Adams,


 


Although I appreciate your response, it really doesn't apply. There was no divorce, My daughter was never married to the Father. The Paternal grandparents & I had no relationship when the children were a couple, so there is no reasonable chance that will happen in the future. I was the one who took their son in several times, upon my daughter's urging after his parents threw him out several times during their courtship. So since this is not a typical parenting divorce situation, where do I go from here. I have written our governor who assisted when my daughter was first murdered, as they wanted the Father to have visitations in the jail. He was court ordered no contact with my Grandson by pictures, visits, etc. There isn't anything in this case that falls within the normal situation. The Judge ordered evaluations on all of us over 6 months, ago, and said I had an articulate understanding of my grandson's needs and that what is in place should be followed, to allow stability, and for him to grow from the trauma he has suffered, however, it was thrown out of court, because neither side wanted to spend $1,200.00 to use it. We weren't told that until after they were done. I have already spent $14,000 on this and i see no end in sight.

Hi - I can see how this may be a little confusing, but marriage or no marriage, this is what the NJ statutes set out as factors for the court to consider when determining custody and custody modification matters.

If all you have said here is true - - especially that there is really no relationship between the child and the other grandparents, it is going to be very difficult for them to be successful in their efforts.

Also, if the judge has previously ruled that you are the best to take care of your grandchild and the needs he has, then you should be in the best position.
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 4 years ago

Mr. Adams,


 


I hate to be annoying, however, this is just too important to me. What I said was before my daughter was murdered, they had not seen my grandson for almost a year. Since then, the court system has ordered me to allow them to see him every other weekend day from 11-7. He has never been allowed to stay overnight, etc. This Judge has only done the custody trial, not all the other issue on this case. They had re-assigned Judges since then.

You're not bothering me at all. From your post, I know that the child was very young when your daughter passed away, so I assumed that there was no real relationship before. Nevertheless, if you were found to be the most fit parent initially when custody was first given to you - AND IF NOTHING MATERIAL HAS CHANGED with your custody and care of the child - it would be very hard for a judge to find reason to change custody.

It is certainly possible, and I nor either attorney involved in the case can say what the judge WILL do, but in my experience, a judge isn't going to change custody without GOOD CAUSE usually related to the health, safety and well-being of the child. Thus, no one can make a guarantee to you as to how this will turn out - - but, you are in the best legal position (as opposed to the position of the other grandparents).
Roger
Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,796
Experience: BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters
Verified
Roger and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Roger Your Own Question
Roger
Roger
Roger, Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 31,796
31,796 Satisfied Customers
Experience: BV Rated by Martindale-Hubbell; SuperLawyer rating by Thompson-Reuters

Roger is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,844 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,360 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,346 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,754 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
I have a question about my case on Domestic Violence. I am
Hi Pearl, my name is***** have a question about my case on Domestic Violence. I am the plaintiff my wife is the defendant. what will I prepare during the Trial? … read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
55,411 satisfied customers
My Daughter's fiancé was arrested for domestic violence that
My Daughter's fiancé was arrested for domestic violence that we are certain did not happen. She did not bring charges against him. She had no bruises. Along with a jail sentence (30 days), the judge i… read more
Zoey, JD
Zoey, JD
Doctoral Degree
175 satisfied customers
My husband was charged with domestic violence and felonious
My husband was charged with domestic violence and felonious assault. I stood up for him for the judge to drop the protection order and he did..... … read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
27,443 satisfied customers
Family law attorney with international divorce expertise(
Second opinion] This question is for a family law attorney with international divorce expertise( not an immigration attorney)I married my wife in a South American country 15 years ago and sponsored he… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
Can a domestic violence judgemant be overturned with
can a domestic violence judgemant be overturned with evidence that conterdicts everything presented at trial … read more
Zoey, JD
Zoey, JD
Doctoral Degree
175 satisfied customers
My highly narcissistic and physically abusive for 11 years
My highly narcissistic and physically abusive for 11 years ex (non-custodial parent) lives 2 hours away, we meet at a half way point to exchange the children every other weekend.My youngest has a band… read more
PaulmoJD
PaulmoJD
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
106 satisfied customers
I have questions regarding family law and child custody.
i have questions regarding family law and child custody. … read more
P. Simmons
P. Simmons
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
3,360 satisfied customers
Back in '08 i was a victim of domestic violence. My wife was
Back in '08 i was a victim of domestic violence. My wife was arrested for it. She ended up doing prison time for two assults with a deadly weapon against a neighbor. Early '06 she got out and like an … read more
jb156200
jb156200
Associate Attorney
Doctoral Degree
413 satisfied customers
In a child custody visitation schedule, can a judge from
In a child custody visitation schedule, can a judge from Florida override a judge's decision in New Jersey when it clearly states in New Jersey that he is to have no unsupervised visitation. He lives … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
My daughter is going to court for domestic violence and her
My daughter is going to court for domestic violence and her ex is free to continue visitation. He claimed he can't support his daughter because he can't work due to his mental issues. He has an anger … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
I am divorced but in a family law court over marriage
I am divorced but in a family law court over marriage settlement of property. At each hearing the judge has made decisions and ordered me to pay more alimony, more fees for the opposing side and not o… read more
Maverick
Maverick
Doctoral Degree
6,133 satisfied customers
Not sure this is family law, but... Our mother is in the
Not sure this is family law, but... Our mother is in the hospital and is not able to care for herself, speak, etc. and the doctor has given us a document stating this so that we can file to be her con… read more
Lawyer Lori
Lawyer Lori
Attorney
JD - Attorney
187 satisfied customers
A judge issued a Domestic Violence restraining order
A judge issued a Domestic Violence restraining order prohibiting me from seeing my children. He did so for no reason whatsoever, did not allow a hearing, and such order was not requested by anyone. Th… read more
N Cal Atty
N Cal Atty
Doctoral Degree
59 satisfied customers
I was granted a domestic violence temporary restraining
I was granted a domestic violence temporary restraining order and The restraining order was from one assault alone. Also keep in mind another assault was not included in original request. I did not sh… read more
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Attorney
Juris Doctor
17,961 satisfied customers
I have been going through a domestic violence divorce for 4
I have been going through a domestic violence divorce for 4 years. I am bifurcated, however, the Maritial Seperation Agreement … read more
TJ, Esq.
TJ, Esq.
Juris Doctor (JD)
11,188 satisfied customers
Individual took guilty plea for domestic violence. Court
Individual took guilty plea for domestic violence. Court order 2 year no contact and anger management. The person being protected constantly calling and texting. Blackmailing to go to parole officer a… read more
Dwayne B.
Dwayne B.
Juris Doctor
28,480 satisfied customers
I'm a domestic violence/ assault victim/survivor proceeding
Hello, I'm a domestic violence/sexual assault victim/survivor proceeding to petition for a complete identity change. The complete identity change will include a new name and a replacement birth certif… read more
P. Simmons
P. Simmons
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
3,360 satisfied customers
I have a question about child custody and domestic violence
I have a question about child custody and domestic violence in the state of Montana … read more
LegalKnowledge
LegalKnowledge
Juris Doctor
27,443 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x