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Tina, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33167
Experience:  JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
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I left 1 month ago a verbally and threatening 26 year marriage.

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I left 1 month ago a verbally and threatening 26 year marriage. My husband does not have the financial means to maintain the monthly bill's. He refuses to leave the home. I am unsure where to proceed. I have not filed divorce paperwork yet, as I am unsure the right order to do this? How do I get him to leave so I can keep the bills payed and stay safe?

Hello and welcome.

My name is XXXXX XXXXX my goal is to provide you with excellent service today. I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. Before I can give you an accurate answer to your question, please provide the following additional information:

Has he been physically abusive toward you or made threats of physical harm? Have you filed police reports with regard to the abuse?

I look forward to assisting you as soon as I have received this information. Thank you.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
He has taken a gun out and threatened suicide. Many years ago he physically abused me and lifted and shoved me into a wall. My heels put holes in the wall a foot from the floor. He threatened suicide on on facebook and I have recorded him threatening suicide. He also has put my horses outside their pen and taken pictures with them running around a bear. He posted this on facebook.
Hello again, Barbara. Thank you for the additional information. He certainly sounds unstable and abusive.

The best way to legally force him out of the home under these circumstances typically would involve obtaining a restraining order against him.

In that case, he would be prevented from having contact with you, but you should be living in the home first, which would mean that you have to return.

As soon as he becomes violent or threatening again, even to himself, you should call the police who should document the incident, which would normally support a restraining order.

If he is threatening to himself, he can be involuntarily committed to an institution as well, which could aid in getting him appropriate treatment.

It would be best though for you to retain a local family law attorney to represent you and who is prepared to respond to any actions he may take and who can obtain an emergency restraining order quickly on your behalf.

If you cannot afford an attorney, there are women's resource centers in most areas which can assist in obtaining a restraining order as well.

I hope this helps clarify the situation for you. Please remember to rate my service once you have all the information you need. If you have any other questions, please ask me – I’ll be happy to respond. Thank you!


Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Tina, should I file before I return home, or wait?
What I'm afraid of here, Barbara, is that you do not have enough evidence yet to obtain a restraining order--just your word. If you have any objective evidence such as police reports, medical records or witness testimony, you could try to obtain a restraining order now, ordering him out of the marital home.

If you do not have any evidence to support your contentions yet, it would typically be better to return and then call the police when a situation arises where he is abusive so you can document it.

In either case, it is best to retain a local attorney who can be ready to respond quickly or contact a women's resource center to help you formulate a plan.

I wish you all the best and take care.
Tina and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

Thank you for your positive rating of my service. It has been my pleasure to assist you and I hope you will ask for me should a future legal need arise.

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Thanks again and all the best to you.


Note: Please feel free to request me if you have future legal questions by going to your “My Questions” page and clicking on “Request Tina again” next to my photo. I look forward to hearing from you.