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LADY LAWYER, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Family Law Attorney
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I am from the Passaic County of New Jersey. My ex and I

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I am from the Passaic County of New Jersey.

My ex and I have been divorce since May 5, 2009 and have 4 children. I was awarded visitation for my kids every other weekend, anytime I have a day off during the week, the whole odd and even years of Holidays, and 2 weeks anytime during the year. 20 days later she moved over 100 miles away without any notice. at that time I made police reports, went to my attorney but my attorney could not help me with out charging a retainer fee which I could not afford, went to the courts but they were no help all they did was give me a motion packet that looked like it came from another planet to me I could not understand what I had to fill out. I then went to legal aide for legal services that's when doors completely shut for me, they could not see my case because of conflict of interest. we used their services once before together.

since then, My son did not get along with his stepfather and has been living with me for 3 years. I have not been able to seek legal counsel or even understand the motion packets. so, I have been paying child support for all 4 children even with my oldest living with me. Child support was taking half my payments all these years and it has been the worst struggle I have ever had to endure even when I came across extra money like income tax, I had bills that were extremely behind, my son needed new clothing, or pay back borrowed money. in July 29th of last year (2012) we were evicted from our apartment unable to pay rent. in a desperate attempt to make extra money I then got my CDL class A hoping I can make enough to pay child support and keep a roof over our heads but later found out I would be driving the west side of the United states and at trainee rates till ready after 2 months I had not made enough to even pay child support. I wasn't even ready to drive alone I was referred to go through training for 3 more months but I have my son home and child support is not going to wait so I came back home both my son and I are staying with my mom about to go to a homeless shelter. Since August child support has gone over $5000 but $3400 has been paid from my unemployment benefits that were denied to me. and I am able to pay off the rest from my income tax returns That I have not yet received

All this forced me to ask for Government assistance which required me to put her on child support for my son. That made her angry and knowing her son and I are in dire need of help financially, she hires an attorney and is taking me to court May 3rd to arrest me for unpaid arrears and hold me in contempt of court.. I have done all I can to keep my end of the court order but since day one she has been violating my rights as a father. even with income tax dependents on the court order we were to split dependents I have been using the same 2 children every year and this year she decided to take all except my son. taking what little money could have helped in getting back on our feet.

My question is, Am I able to stand up to her in court for what has been going on? Am I able to fight for custody of all my children? Am I entitled to ask for 3 years of child support owed to me? or am I too late I have proof I have been trying to see my kids but the distance is too expensive to see them.

desperately seeking help..

LADY LAWYER : Hi there,
LADY LAWYER : My goodness, you have been through a lot and there's a lot of misjustice going on here. Sounds like you ex just keeps taking advantage of you because you haven't stopped her in the pas and she feels entitled.
LADY LAWYER : There are quite a few issues here so first things first...
LADY LAWYER : Because she claimed all the kids but your son this year, is your tax return now not going to cover the back support that you owe? Also, with regard to the Government assistance and child support, are you saying that the Office of Child Support Enforcement made her start paying child support for your son so that you are not currently paying her support for him anymore?

Thank you for your quick response.


My income tax is enough to cover child support and she is suppose to be paying child but it hasn't started yet. Another problem i am having is that i am still being held liable to pay for my son

LADY LAWYER : You're most welcome! Sorry it wasn't sooner; as soon as I signed on, I saw you had been waiting for a while and I wanted to help.
LADY LAWYER : Do you mean that you are being held liable for the back support for your son, even during the time that he lived with you?
LADY LAWYER : But you're not having to pay any support for him now or in the future--just for the back support, correct?

Yes I have gone several Times to the probation department to prove he is with me but till I take her to court I am still responsible

LADY LAWYER : Okay, but now child support enforcement has changed the fact that you need to pay for your son moving forward and has instead told her to pay you, correct? But you still owe the back support for the time up until child support enforcement told her to pay?

Until May 3rd I don't even know myself. . Very confused

LADY LAWYER : :) I understand how confusing it can be.
LADY LAWYER : Okay, the first thing you need to do is call child support enforcement to find out if they are stopping the support to your ex for your son and ordering her to pay you.
LADY LAWYER : If this is the case, then you don't have to go to court to get this done.
LADY LAWYER : Child support enforcement is the administrative agency that can often do exactly what the court (the judicial agency) can do in terms of child support.
LADY LAWYER : If they can't get it straightened out, you will need to prepare the motion to modify.

Ok. So you think it's to late to let a judge know about what she has put us through

LADY LAWYER : I know it is difficult so I would be happy to walk you through it and answer questions for you if you have to fill it out.
LADY LAWYER : No, haven't gotten that far yet. Just focusing on the immediate issue of the child support as it pertains to the future.
LADY LAWYER : I want to make sure you do not have to pay any more future support and that she will pay you instead.
LADY LAWYER : Sometimes, filing for government benefits is a way to trigger a change in support. It seems that is what happened here.
LADY LAWYER : If it is, you won't have to go to court for this specific reason to get this issue taken care of.

Ok I won't be able to fill out the paper work today

LADY LAWYER : That is okay. You need to call child support enforcement on Monday to find out what the situation is. You may not need to fill it out at all if support has been changed.
LADY LAWYER : Now, with regard to back support...
LADY LAWYER : Unfortunately, even if your son was living with you, until you filed a motion for modification or until you did something like file for government benefits, you cannot go back and get credit for any support before that.
LADY LAWYER : So even though your son was living with you, until the court or child support enforcement changed the order, you still would have to pay your ex.
LADY LAWYER : Therefore, all the back support that has accumulated up until this point will be deemed valid by the court.
LADY LAWYER : With regard to your tax return and court date...are you going to be able to get that money back and pay the back support before you go to court?
Customer: Sorry I was using my phone it froze
Customer: Yes I was able to get enough to pay my back support, and report to the IRS
LADY LAWYER : That's okay. You may have to scroll up and read some of my previous answers so everything makes sense. So you have already paid all the back support owed then? If so, did your ex's attorney cancel the court date?
Customer: I am hoping my tax refund gets to me before the court date. I still have that $2000 balance
LADY LAWYER : oh okay. Well if it does, then you can pay the money and the hearing can be cancelled OR you can file your own motion for contempt and it can be heard at the same time as your hearing on the back child support.
Customer: I can do that
LADY LAWYER : You would take the money to the court to pay your ex, of course, so that you wouldn't be in contempt. But them you will get to argue the fact that your ex claimed the other child on her return when it was supposed to be yours.
LADY LAWYER : You can also file a motion to modify custody and ask for custody of your kids.
LADY LAWYER : Oh, in your contempt motion, you will also let the judge know how she moved away and never gave you notice or sought permission from the court.
Customer: Every one I spoke to told me its too late for that
LADY LAWYER : No, not too late if you are in front of him for something else as well. The judge technically could make her move closer to you or could give you custody. Most likely though, the judge will make her bring the kids half way or more to see you.
LADY LAWYER : If you were just trying to bring a motion based on her move, it would probably be denied, but since you have some other things going on, you need to bring it up.
Customer: I did not know that
LADY LAWYER : Okay, so I think we have covered all your issues. The first thing you need to do is call child support enforcement on Monday and find out if the support order was changed. Then come back here to this question and let me know so we can go from there.
LADY LAWYER : Also, if you have any specific questions for me right now based on what we've been over, I am happy to answer them!
Customer: Ok thank you so much.. I had more questions but unfortunately I am not at my house and using unreliable Internet. I will answer you lon Monday on what get answered
Customer: Have a great weekend
LADY LAWYER : that is fine, no problem. If it is okay, can you go ahead and leave a positive rating now so that I can keep the question open for you? Otherwise, it may timeout.
Customer: Ok
LADY LAWYER and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hello, I was able to go to probation today and they told me my son is still my responsibility on child-support till I file motion. My license is suspended because of child support but I was able to get a notarized letter from probation all I have to do is restore it. Income tax not in yet so there is still arrears and I dont have the money to pay for it is there a chance that I am getting arrested? If so, what will be of my son?

Hi David,

No, I do not think you will go to jail here. You may be asked to sign a promise to pay with the court and that's okay. You need to take your income tax return to court with you when you go to show that the money will be forthcoming just as soon as you get it. With regard to the motion you need to file in order to modify support, please let me know when you're looking to attempt that and I will answer any questions you may have about it. I don't want you to worry here, David. Everything will work out. It sounds a lot scarier than it is.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your help, on friday we went to court but did not see a judge. I was waiting on income tax money to hire myself a lawyer but it all went to child support. so I decided to just go and defend myself. I need to write a remotion to appeal this fridays verdict. Also I wanted to ask you. I wanted to write her a letter regarding visitation do you think I should start writing her letter through the mail instead of text? I dont know what to do anymore. I really want to have normal visitations with my kids what steps do you recomend I take?