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My husband and I were happily married for 15 years until he

had a six-month long affair...
My husband and I were happily married for 15 years until he had a six-month long affair while he was traveling at work. I have been diagnosed as bipolar, with tendency to psychosis, but my illness was very controlled during my marriage. I was a successful legal secretary making about $50,000 and my husband was making between $80,000 to $100,000. After a very close suicide attempt and a psychotic break at my law firm position, I had to go on disability. My husband pays $300 per week in alimony, and as part of our separation and maintenance agreement, I will get about one-fourth of his pension when he retires in three years. I take about 9 different medications each day, for a monthly cost of about $800, not to mention rent, doctor bills and transportation. I have read over our Separation Agreement that was attached to our final Divorce, and it does not specify when my alimony stops. My husband is required to keep double his annual salary in life insurance to my benefit, and I am supposed to have access to the policy and the list of beneficiaries, but for 10 years I have been put off my him when I ask for that proof. We are rarely ever in touch, and I don't even know if anyone has been told to notify me if he dies. He seems to have turned sullen and resentful about every dime, although I was a good and faithful wife to him, after working 10 hours a day, I put his dinner on the table and ironed his clothes for the next day, plus kept the house clean and made all my cooking from scratch. I am going to have to go in a nursing home eventually, and I am afraid it is going to be a slum if I cannot get some straight answers from him. Our divorce was final in 2008, and my lawyer retired after taking $2500 in fees and then not even representing me in court. Do I have any recourse available? I have no family, no resources, and I am terrified. Thanks for your help.
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Answered in 7 minutes by:
4/1/2013
Dimitry K., Esq.
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41,221
Experience: I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
Verified
Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.

I ma very sorry that you are so worried and concerned. However I am a bit unclear as to what, at least so far, the ex has failed to provide you. If he is paying his alimony and has performed what he promised, what are you trying to obtain from him at this time? Please let me know so I can best answer, thank you!
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

I have never received proof that he even has a life insurance policy in my name at all. He also called me recently and said that my share of his pension is not going to be $250,000, as he had told me earlier, but a much smaller amount, so he offered to pay me a reduced alimony for an undetermined period of time out of the goodness of his heart. When I asked for proof that his pension had been cut, he hem-hawed around, just as he has when I asked about his life insurance. This policy is guaranteed in our divorce agreement, legally signed and filed with the judge, but since my lawyer disappeared, I don't have anyone to enforce it. I cannot afford to hire another attorney. Also, can you tell me if alimony traditionally ends after the exwife receives a portion of the pension.


 


I should say that I am living on disability in a tiny apartment while he owns a huge home and travels for fun along with doing a great deal of partying. I learned after we were married that he was 12 years older than me and I am his 4th wife. He pulled the wool over my eyes.

Thank you for your follow-up.

Now I understand, please allow me to approach each concern in order.

First, alimony generally ends either based on court order or upon death of the ex-spouse. If the decree is silent, then it ends upon death. Arguably it can end upon your re-marriage but also only if the order so stipulates. It would not end at the time of pension unless the decree so states or he files in court for a modification which ends up being granted.

What you are describing is a request to file a motion to compel, that is a request via the courts that the other party provide evidence that they complied with the court's decree. You can possibly file this on your own although an attorney would be very useful. You can contact your local county courthouse, visit their law library, and obtain the templates necessary for this filing.

Good luck.

Dimitry K., Esq.
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41,221
Experience: I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
Verified
Dimitry K., Esq. and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


As I fomer legal secretary, I will have no touble following your advice. I wanted to thank you personally as well as give you a "great service" rating. You were quick and VERY helpful and patient.

You are most welcome, and I am genuinely happy to hear that I was able to help. This type of a situation does come up, and luckily you have options. The next step, should it come to it and he refuses to comply, would permit you to file for a motion for contempt, and have him be responsible for your filing fees. Then the judge may possibly admonish, fine, or even jail him for non-compliance.

Good luck and please take care!

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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41,221
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Experience: I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

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