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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 118689
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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my names is jared and I am currently deployed overseas. I

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my names is jared and I am currently deployed overseas. I have been here since early February and my wife just told me that she slept with a friend that I work with back home. he is already facing adultery charges because me and him are both military. She slept with him inside my car... We have a 16 month old daughter who is the love of my life. she sent pics of herself some being inappropriate. She also sent him a picture of my daughter in her highchair which really bothered me. As if this isn't already enough to handle I just found out this morning that she has been texting 2 guys that she met at the bar. She also has been talking on the phone and texting her ex from before we were married. we will have been married for 3 years in july. she says I have nothing to worry about with the other 3 guys but who knows at this point. I am concerned that she will try to take everything I own through a divorce. I have proof of everything she has don't to include emails and phone records. My car is in mine and my grandmothers name so I don't think she can touch that. but literally everything we own I have bought or my family has given us. which I don't mind splitting some of it up. im really concerned about my daughter. she threatens that if we get a divorce she wont let me see her the rest of the time im deployed which is 5 more months. and shes also said that when I get home that she will fight to make it so I only get visitation. im wondering if that's even possible after everything shes done and I have proof. I was told by my brother who went through something similar that I could possibly get full custody because she doesn't work and because what shes done. she isn't a bad mother though so I wouldn't want to go to that extreme unless more happened. when she is not out drinking and doing other things that shes done she is an amazing mother. I would atleast want half custody for sure. since she has threatened not to let me see her while im here and not every time I want to when I get home. do I have a case? and could I get custody? and would she be able to take everything after all shes done to our family?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question. I look forward to providing you the information you are seeking.

I am sorry to hear you are having to go through this nightmare. Fortunately, in a divorce, the courts will look at her conduct leading to the divorce when determining how to divide the marital property. Oklahoma is an equitable distribution state, which means the court can consider all factors involved in the marriage and leading to the dissolution of the marriage, including adultery. Thus, you have grounds to protect your marital assets and it is likely the court would be more favorable to you based on the adultery being committed while you are off serving your country.

As far as custody, it is quite possible if you prove her inappropriate extramarital affairs and her behavior and drinking habits that the court would not consider her custody in the best interests of the child, which is the standard the court uses in determining primary custody of a child. While she may not be a bad mother when she is not doing these things, the fact she is doing these things can make the court determine she is not fit to be a primary custodial parent. If you can prove the conduct, it is grounds for you to argue for full primary custody with her getting visitation only, even though you are in the military and face deployment, based on her conduct.

Equitable distribution of the marital assets looks at the entire time of the marriage and the contributions of each party to the marriage. Her conduct will also come into play. While the court looks to divide the assets as evenly as possible, equitable does not mean equal and for her conduct it is likely she will get less than 50% of the assets acquired during the course of the marriage. The marital property is anything acquired in your separate names or both names during the time you have been married. It does not include anything that is not in your name or her name or joint names, which means the car would likely be excluded as you suspect.

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