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I desperately want to divorce my husband. We have not had

I desperately want to divorce...
I desperately want to divorce my husband. We have not had sex in a million years, but as this is a 50/50 state I guess that doesn't matter that he has been verbally abusive. Well, I have known him more than a decade and lived with him for about that long but have ben married for ight miserable years and have twins with autism, three years old. I have never worked since I met him as I had a horrible accident that left me diabled. He has been there through that and never caredd than that I couldn't have sex and I should have known, I really want to know how long I would receive alimoney and child support and would I get primary custody as I take care of them and he only sees them on weeends and I am the one to take them to all the therapy. I want out. He makes me so sad and calls me names and makes about 200 K a year. Like? Tell me what to do now and how long as he smiles and says I will be on public assistance with his autistic babies. Cruel is all he is.
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Answered in 40 minutes by:
2/1/2013
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 19,845
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
Verified
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to assist you. Kindly use CONTINUE or REPLY button to ask for clarification or follow-up questions.


I am sorry to hear about your difficulties:

I desperately want to divorce my husband. We have not had sex in a million years, but as this is a 50/50 state I guess that doesn't matter that he has been verbally abusive. Well, I have known him more than a decade and lived with him for about that long but have ben married for ight miserable years and have twins with autism, three years old. I have never worked since I met him as I had a horrible accident that left me diabled. He has been there through that and never caredd than that I couldn't have sex and I should have known, I really want to know how long I would receive alimoney and child support

Response 1: You would be awarded alimony/spousal support/maintenance in such amounts and for such periods of time as the Court deems just, without regard to misconduct, after Court considers all relevant factors. Some of those factors are: (1)The financial resources of the party seeking maintenance, including separate or community property apportioned in the settlement agreement, and the ability to meet his or her needs independently;(2) the standard of living established during the marriage;(3) the duration of the marriage (3) the age, physical and emotional condition, and financial obligations of the spouse seeking maintenance. Because of your disability, it is most likely that the Court would order permanent alimony/spousal maintenance in your case. See Revised Code of Washington, Title 26, Chapter 26.09, Section 26.09.090.



http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.090



For child support, Child Support would continue until the age of majority, which is 18 in Washington State. However, since the children are autistic, the Court would most likely extend the duration of child support payments beyond the age of majority.

would I get primary custody as I take care of them and he only sees them on weeends and I am the one to take them to all the therapy.


Response 2: Since you are the primary care giver, it is likely that the Court would give you primary custody of the children with visitation rights to the father. In a Custody case, the Court would make a decision based on what is in the best interests of the children by looking at the living arrangement of the parties to the custody dispute, their lifestyles, associations, parenting skills, etc. If the Court finds after reviewing these factors that the children would be better off living with you, the Court would rule in your favor and give you sole physical and legal custody of the children with visitation rights to the father. Otherwise, the Court may order joint custody. However, based on the information that you have provided here, I do not see that happening since the father has not been actively involved in the children's care giving. Nevertheless, it is very important that you tell the Court any and all reasons why the father should not be allowed to have joint custody and why you should be given sole custody; any witnesses should be brought to the Court to testify. Remember that the Court can only make decision based on the evidence presented to the Court.

I want out. He makes me so sad and calls me names and makes about 200 K a year. Like? Tell me what to do now and how long as he smiles and says I will be on public assistance with his autistic babies. Cruel is all he is.

Response 3: He is dreaming. The State would not let you be on public assistance with the children when their father is capable of supporting you. His wages would be garnished and assets like bank account seized to pay for child support and alimony if he does not cooperate. So, do not let his words bother you so much.

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago


Please sir. Thank you for your answer so far, but do I understand you saying that the court would not cut off my alimony and child support since I have never worked, even when we weren't married and tht was fine with him, since he is so grandios about his salary and laughed everytime I tried talking about my degree in social work and how I would be paid nothing and I have to stay with my boys almost all day everyday at hoe with a therapist, then drive one or both to another therapist, and this goes on daily. I would not mind leniant vistation rights, but are you sure he cannot threaten me with his determination of bad behavior on my part, when I cannot bring up any abuse or lack of physical affection for more than five years, alone when the court saw me as I have spoen to attorneys who said he is crazy and sexually something wrond and I want money for all the fraud He said to read the alimony laws again since I have to decide how to support myslef and the truth is, I cannot with all this pain and even my doctor cannot believe all I can do, plus my nannies that I have had for a few hours to get anything done would testify that I am the most invooved parent.


Could I get alimony even after my kids are older than 18 since they have clear and bad autism and I will need to be their help for the rest of their lives, hpefully not, but I don't rest on what may happen. I hurt everyday since they are hard to hold onto as they get bigger and I excerbate my injuries which should have had me stay in a wheelchair but I said no and really worked to walk. The house was bought with both our money since I had some saved at the time. It is worth about 600,000. I am not clear about this and I don't want to be an old woman in a boarding house because I cannot be abused and I never wil remarry EVER. Will I have to work when all doctors say NO!!!! Must I stay as he threatens and says to think about how to support myslef as aliminy should last how long for this situation usually? You did not make yourself clear on that. Just use this as an example. You did not have any divorce questions so I was a bit hesitant but I need to know what to do. All lawyers so far said he would pay out of the nose since he makes alot of money and more as the years wil go on. I am entitled to that as I put up with it. Is a ten year marriage considered a decent amount of time or shoudl I cringe and wait a bit more but even if he asks me should I worry. I am glad you said he was dreaming about me on final publlic assistance when once married to a rich man who knows of my many physical limitations but I do for my children but cry out of pain at night. Please just anser amount of time for my case and how long and what happens after my boys who will depend on me, turn 18 although with autism. I would not mind joint custody but he blieves he will get full and I will get visittion which would hurt my boys and kill me. My nannies thin he is a terrible dad who did NOTHING the year they were born and fought me all the way when I said there was something wrong with our kids. I get nothing for ALL the abus and beglect of me? I count as nothing for all of this? He has put my mind as nothing and makes me feel like nothing and I am drained everyday of any self esteem. Why if alimony is not forever, why can


t I sue for fraud as all he wanted was maybe kids which I pushed, but he, and I am really well taken cared for as me and do not spend his money in any way that would have any court look at me over Even if I had an affair, which I have not, he could not take anything from me as I am a human and need some reassurance but he is not human just a computer drone who will kep making more with bonuses of 215K or more per year!!


 


I want to know specifics. I cannot wor and he knows that and loves this and threatens me into saying with him and really maybe public assist would not be as bad as he is but I don't deserve this and want the money from the sale of this home and alimoney for life with crippled bac and legs but I will have no more surgery. He threatens not to let me have my teeth fixed. He really believes that in a couple years after divorce I will be looking at want ads without being able to walk well. I need th best answer please and times usually in my case for all monies. Should a disabled woman who pushes herlef daily and is subjected to horrible verbal abuse and NO SEX not that I want him anymore but he is not a normal man. That means nothing anymore? He is not normal and that has made me feel worthless. allowed huh?

Customer reply replied 4 years ago

look below for my response please.

The specifics of the case is that the Court would order alimony and child support in the case. The alimony will likely be permanent because of your disability and because you did not work throughout the marriage. I cannot tell you exactly what the Court would do because the Court would make a decision based on the evidence presented in the case. I cannot guarantee that your husband would not threaten you. I am not in position to know or do that. Even the Court does not know that. All marital assets would be divided 50/50 regardless of who acquired them because you live the community state of Washington. I did not mention the issue of division of property because your initial post implied that you were already aware of that.

As previously stated, the Court would review certain factors before arriving at the amount of alimony and the DURATION of the alimony.

Child support would be ordered in the case and may extend beyond the age of 18 because of the medical condition of the children.

Finally, the issue of custody would be determined based on the best interest of the children’s test, which I detailed in my previous post.

For more information on the above-referenced issues, you need to review the relevant Revised Code of Washington by clicking on the links below:

For marital assets division, See RCW Title 26 Chapter 26.16 Section 26.16.030 and Chapter 26.09 Section 26.09.080



http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.16.030


http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.080


For Alimony, see See Revised Code of Washington, Title 26, Chapter 26.09, Section 26.09.090



http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.090


For child support, see See Revised Code of Washington, Title 26, Chapter 26.09, Sections 26.09.100 and 26.09.105

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.100

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.105

For custody, See Revised Code of Washington, Title 26, Chapter 26.09, Sections 26.09.181, 26.09.182, 26.09.184, and 26.09.187

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.181

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.182

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.184

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.187

Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 19,845
Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.
Verified
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Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq., Attorney-at-Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 19,845
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Experience: B.A.; M.B.A.; J.D.

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