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Tina, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33167
Experience:  JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
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Thanks in advance for your assistance. Im a single mother

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Thanks in advance for your assistance. I'm a single mother to a 17 year old daughter whom by the way will be 18 on March 26. She has disrespected and defiled my home by having relations with a 20 yr man which no one is allowed in my home if an adult wasnt present. Presently I live in NJ, however she has find solace with her dad who lives in the Bx, NY. She has requested her mail to be forwarded with the post office and she choose to reside with her dad to avoid any repercussions if she comes home. Currently there is an order for her father to pay child support, after two weeks of this incident, as well as his condoning her behavior, I received court papers to be at court 3/12 for nonpayment. What are my options if any?

Hello and welcome.

I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. My goal is to provide you with excellent service. First, I have some questions for you so I can determine what information to provide you.

The father filed a motion seeking to hold you in contempt for failing to pay support when he is the one who has been ordered to pay support? How long ago did your daughter go to live with him? Does the current court order still indicate that you have primary custody?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi Tina!

Thanks for responding. To answer your question, I received a "summons support" and presently the order indicates I'm the custodial parent and he was ordered to pay biweekly. If I understanding this move on his part, he wants the court to over turn the present order and request that I pay him support now that my daughter chooses to live with him and not abide by rules..
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Oops, she's been living with him since 1/07/13
Hello again, Sophia, and thank you for the additional information. OK, that is very recent, so you could seek to have her return to you if you choose that option.

That makes more sense--that he is seeking a modification of the custody order and support from you since your daughter is now living with him. I certainly understand your frustration with your daughter not abiding by your rules and disrespecting you.

Now that she is living with her father though, he would typically be entitled to a modification of the custody order and support, if support is indicated under the state child support guidelines.

Here is a link that permits you to estimate the amount of support that you would be ordered to pay based on the guidelines:

Unlike some states that terminate child support at the age of 18, under NY law, child support stops when a child reaches the age of 21 or earlier if the child becomes emancipated. In New York, a child becomes emancipated when he or she marries, joins the armed services, lives on his or her own and is working fulltime. The non-custodial parent must apply for the termination of child support upon the emancipation of the child.

Here is a link that summarizes the law on these issues for you:

Therefore, the father would normally be entitled to support from you I'm afraid, unless you contest the modification and seek to retain primary custody of your daughter. If you wish to challenge his motion to modify the order of custody/support, it would be best to retain a local family law attorney to represent you in this matter.

I hope this helps clarify the situation for you.

It has been my pleasure to assist you. Kindly remember to rate my answer when our communication is completed so I will be compensated for my time in providing you with the information you requested. If you feel the need to provide a low rating, please stop and reply to me via the REPLY or CONTINUE CONVERSATION button with whatever issue or clarification you may need. I will be happy to continue further and assist you until I am able to explain your concern to your satisfaction. Please also remember that I cannot control whether the law is favorable to you or not, so please don’t shoot the messenger. Thank you and all the best to you in 2013.


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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Tina what if she chooses not to come home? Considering she is an adult. I had asked my precinct and I was informed that they couldn't do anything. It is my intention for her to come home.
Hello again, Sophia.

She is not the age of majority yet, but if the police will not aid in forcing her to return, it may be difficult to get her back. You can inform the court that you do not wish to give up primary custody of her and that you are working for her to come back. If the move to her father's is only temporary, then that would provide a basis for the court to deny the father's request to modify custody/support typically.