I see. Thank you for the additional information, Donald.
Normally the first spouse to be personally served would dictate in which court jurisdiction attaches. Since you were recently served with the VA pleadings, it appears that court has jurisdiction over the matter and the suit filed in DE would normally be dismissed unless there is proof your spouse was personally served before you were served.
By personal service, I mean to say that the documents were handed to the spouse. Service by mail is not normally appropriate for the initial summons and complaint unless the receiving spouse waives service, which your spouse is not likely to do since it appears she had you personally served first. I'm sorry, but it appears that the VA court has jurisdiction over the matter at this point.
I hope this helps clarify the situation for you.
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