Family Law

Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.

Ask a Lawyer,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Family Law
This answer was rated:

Im about to go into Mediation to discuss custody of my 3 children

I'm about to go into...
I'm about to go into Mediation to discuss custody of my 3 children (7, 10 and 11) and in the past 3 weeks since I filed divorce and he moved out, every time the children come home from a visit with him they are angry and tell me they hate me, they don't want to live with me and my 11 year old son has started calling me by my first name and says he is not going to do anything I ask him to from now on. I know that he text with his dad and told his dad he was going to "confront me and he knows I'll cry, it's expected" and he did - the prior conversation had already been deleted so it was not visible, but I believe my Ex is coaching my son. He is the abusive one and the yet my son is siding with him and even helping him continue the abuse since he can't do it himself any longer. So my question is, that this sounds like parental alienation. With a Mediator, how can I ensure that my children to not say to this person "I want to live with my Dad" and I'm left trying to win them back... What do I need to have on hand to best prove to the Mediator that this is what's happening and that I don't want to lose my children?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Answered in 9 minutes by:
10/1/2012
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28,676
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
Verified

Hi! I will be the professional that will be helping you today. I look forward to providing you with information to help solve your problem.

I certainly understand your concern. Is the basis/purpose of your mediation to resolve child custody issues?

Ask Your Own Family Law Question
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

Yes, I was previously wanting to do joint custody, but have concerns now about my husbands behavior. He's sent me about 25 texts asking my forgiveness, telling me he wants another chance and that he can't live without his family... and when I didn't respond he showed all his texts to our 10 year old son and said "see, I've tried but she doesn't even respond" to which my son got angry at me and told me how selfish and hateful I am. That he had seen the messages and that I "couldn't even be bothered to give a response to him?" which is a parrot of how his father behaves when I don't do what he wants.


 


We were supposed to go to a family gathering for my side of the family and now two of my son's have said they "will not go and I can't make them" when a couple weeks ago the thought of a family reunion and seeing all their cousins thrilled them!


 


I want to understand the mediation process and what constitutes Parental Alienation in a mediators eyes as well as what I need to be prepared to show them.

His actions could be a cause basis for it and this would be an issue to address with the mediator and/or Judge, if things can not be resolved, where it is agreed upon or ordered, that the father is not to talk badly about you in front of the children or involve them in any way, like he did before, showing them text messages and other information, with the intent to harm you and turn the children against you. The purpose of mediation is to try and resolve the custody matters, on your own. Mediation is not binding, so you are not forced to agree, if things can not be worked out. The father would need to agree that neither party should involve the kids in any way and must be supportive in the time awarded to each parent and when the children are with them. The fact that he is trying to turn the children against you can not be tolerated for this to work and he needs to realize it will only harm them, from a mental standpoint.

 

Please let me know if you have any follow up questions or need any clarification on something which I stated above, prior to rating me. Also, please remember to rate my service with 3, 4, or 5 faces/stars, before exiting the site, so I can receive credit for my help. I hope you found it to be Excellent! Only rate my answer when you are 100% satisfied. If you feel the need to click either of the two faces/stars on the left, please STOP and reply to me via the "REPLY TO EXPERT or CONTINUE CONVERSATION "button. I want to make sure your experience with the site was as pleasurable as possible and that you are satisfied with the help I provided.

FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28,676
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
Verified
FamilyAnswer and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 5 years ago

I understand that stopping this would require his cooperation, this is not expected as reasonable consideration for our children's mental health is not be a consideration for him in the past. It's as if they are not people, but rather just tools and the more he can make them hurt me the more successful he seems to feel. When I've tried to discuss with him, his response is "well, this is what you wanted. What's happening to them is your fault because you filed for divorce and only cared about yourself as usual. "


 


I'm asking what I need to be prepared with - what are acceptable and successful forms of proof with a mediator and or judge (I guess since mediation isn't minding). I need someone to understand what he is doing to my son's. My goal is to protect my children by requiring him to take mandated drug tests, and potentially visitation that is observed by a 3rd party to ensure he's doing what's in our children's best interest and that they are not in actual danger while with him.

I certainly understand. What you stated above and what you want ordered, needs to be done by the Judge. If you and him can not agree to anything at mediation, it would go before the Judge to decide, which would be the point, where you can request those conditions be imposed and where the Judge may decide to speak with the child and learn about what is going on. Drug tests, supervised visitation and anything else like that, would have to be ordered since it is unlikely he would agree to that, as a condition to having the children.
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28,676
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases
Verified
FamilyAnswer and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask FamilyAnswer Your Own Question
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28,676
28,676 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 10 + years of handling Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody and Child Support cases

FamilyAnswer is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it.

LeeMichigan

Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises!

Gary B.Edmond, OK

My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer.

EricRedwood City, CA

I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight.

MichaelWichita, KS

PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent.

Three H.Houston, TX

Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!!

ElaineAtlanta, GA

It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem.

TonyApopka, FL

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Ely

Ely

Counselor at Law

11,844 satisfied customers

Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.

LawTalk

LawTalk

Attorney and Counselor at Law

9,025 satisfied customers

30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Dimitry K., Esq.

Attorney

7,856 satisfied customers

I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.

Tina

Tina

Lawyer

6,562 satisfied customers

JD, 17 years legal experience including family law

P. Simmons

P. Simmons

Lawyer

3,360 satisfied customers

16 yrs. of experience including family law.

Barrister

Barrister

Lawyer

3,346 satisfied customers

Attorney with 17 years experience

RobertJDFL

RobertJDFL

Lawyer

2,754 satisfied customers

Experienced in multiple areas of the law.

< Previous | Next >

Related Family Law Questions
I currently have supervised visitation with my children per
I currently have supervised visitation with my children per a temporary order from 8/4/17. I fear that my children are in danger with my ex-wife because of her family's culture (her father molested ex… read more
PaulmoJD
PaulmoJD
Attorney At Law
Doctoral Degree
106 satisfied customers
I have a joint custody visitation agreement that took effect
I have a joint custody visitation agreement that took effect on 11/01/2017. I am the custodial parent and the other parent gave the court an address that is in Sacramento ,CA. He was suppose to move b… read more
INFOLAWYER
INFOLAWYER
Partner
Doctoral Degree
55,397 satisfied customers
If both parents have supervised visits and the grandparent
if both parents have supervised visits and the grandparent is awarded Permanent Managing Conservatorship … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
My wife and I are getting a divorce. The mediator claims
My wife and I are getting a divorce. The mediator claims that it's best that our daughter (17 months old) stay with mom most of the time once we live separately. Wife and I had already reached an agre… read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
My ex is promoting parental alienation syndrome and is in
My ex is promoting parental alienation syndrome and is in contempt of a civil judgment that allows me parenting time. What are the first forms that I fill out to gain custody of my child? … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
I'm divorced with joint custody and rights to medical
I'm divorced with joint custody and rights to medical information. they live in another state. My ex sent our 6year old daughter to see a counselor regarding her behavior.. i would like to speak to th… read more
Ely
Ely
Counselor at Law
Juris Doctor
11,844 satisfied customers
I got divorced in 2004 and remarried. I have joint custody
i got divorced in 2004 and remarried. I have joint custody of 2 kids from first marriage. I have been married again with my current wife for last 9 yrs and now she wants to divorce and wanting to get … read more
lucy7368
lucy7368
Juris Doctor
763 satisfied customers
In a child custody visitation schedule, can a judge from
In a child custody visitation schedule, can a judge from Florida override a judge's decision in New Jersey when it clearly states in New Jersey that he is to have no unsupervised visitation. He lives … read more
Ray
Ray
Lawyer
Doctoral Degree
30,179 satisfied customers
I am a divorced parent with joint custody of my minor child
Hi, I am a divorced parent with joint custody of my minor child and my ex has continued to keep our child on the Monday holidays if the hoilday coinsides with his weekend.(e.g. Memorial Day and Labor … read more
Ely
Ely
Counselor at Law
Juris Doctor
11,844 satisfied customers
Getting a CA divorce and agreed to mediation. Will the
Getting a CA divorce and agreed to mediation. Will the mediator need a budget from me to determine spousal support? How does that work? I know about the standard alimony calculator, but not much else.… read more
Gerald, Esq
Gerald, Esq
Juris Doctor
3,029 satisfied customers
I have temporary supervised visitation. I was granted 8
I have temporary supervised visitation . I was granted 8 visit. my son father is violating the court order. What can i do? and what will happen as a result… read more
Michael Bradley
Michael Bradley
JD
1,127 satisfied customers
Can a divorce settlement that has been mediated be redone
can a divorce settlement that has been mediated be redone and one of the party's wasn't there the lawyer did it … read more
jb156200
jb156200
Associate Attorney
Doctoral Degree
412 satisfied customers
We just divorce on May and we have joint custody with 2days
Hi we just divorce on May and we have joint custody with 2days and 2 days So before schools have break I seen my daughter and my ex took my daughter to visit her family out of state She was out of tow… read more
S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid
Doctoral Degree
2,353 satisfied customers
Can dcpp tell me that i have to have supervised visitation
hi, can dcpp tell me that i have to have supervised visitation with my teenage daughter whom is currently under my custody? … read more
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Attorney
Juris Doctor
17,961 satisfied customers
My son had supervised visitation at the local county women's
My son had supervised visitation at the local county women's center in Angleton, Tx. He had issues with them and they told him he could not use the center anymore for visitation. Keep in mind, he was … read more
Michael Bradley
Michael Bradley
JD
1,127 satisfied customers
I m recently divorced. There is joint custody agreement and
Hello, I m recently divorced. There is joint custody agreement and my ex wife has primary custody of the children. She has recently accepted a job offer out of state which would violate the divorce st… read more
FamilyAnswer
FamilyAnswer
Lawyer
28,676 satisfied customers
My ex has supervised visitations now. We have a hearing in
My ex has supervised visitations now. We have a hearing in November. Yeatersay he apent time with the kids. He was acring auper friendly with my family( I am not present during the visits), he also wo… read more
Phillips Esq.
Phillips Esq.
Attorney
Juris Doctor
17,961 satisfied customers
This is on potential supervised visitation case. Illinois.
No. My daughter has a daughter that is 17 months old. The father is not on birth certificate. We have had him try to be as involved as possible by letting him stay at our house on weekends. He lives in a house with a few other guys he met on Craig list and my daughter doesn't want her there. Also he is involved in a very volatile relationship. This girl is angry that he has a child with my daughter and continuously calls and harasses here. The latest calls were messages she left on voicemail. We now have not hear from the father in s month. When my daughter asked if he was going to help out financially at all he replied he would see her in court … read more
FamilyAttorney
FamilyAttorney
Appellate attorney & former trial lawyer
JD
1,446 satisfied customers

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x