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Family Law Answers, Family Law Attorney
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Divorce Hello, after 15 years of marriage, my sister-in-law

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Hello, after 15 years of marriage, my sister-in-law confessed to my brother two weeks ago that she is love with another man. This confession was made because my brother found a prepaid telephone in her bag -((my brother never doubted her within the 15 years, never went through her stuff i.e.bags, only became suspicious when she started lying about her whereabouts)) - with only the other man's number. The thing is when he found the phone, he simply asked her to re-consider the affair because of their marriage and their 3 kids. She simply turned and said somethings to aggravate my brother...and he in turned snapped and at the moment there was a bottle on the table which he took and hit her with it..telling her that she is choosing this other man over her children. My brother honestly wants to settle this and forget the cheating issue but she is holding out that she does not want him any more. So the next option is for him to file a divorce. He is worried about the incident where he was aggravated enough to hit her. In the state of NJ, how would my brother handle the situation of not been label as a "abuse husband/father" because she holds on to this. There is no legal record of him ever hitting her in the past and she is claiming that he did. Friends and family, esp. her mom and dad, can prove that my brother never hit her in the past. The kids could prove that also. However, the her mother saw the incident with the bottle two weeks ago. Will this affect him having custody of the children?

Family Law Answers :

Hello and thanks for contacting Just Answer.


Unfortunately, in NJ, there is case law where custody has been awarded to one parent over the other because of a domestic violence situation involving the parents. The two case cites I have for you supporting this information are: Chen v. Mei-In Chen and Mann v. Mann.


My answer to you is that the incident you describe with him hitting her with a bottle could affect him having custody of the children. I'm not saying it certainly will, but it certainly could.


This is sufficient reason for him to hire an attorney to represent him ASAP, so that the attorney can try to start to show a picture of your brother in the most favorable light possible, by arguing there is no history of violence, this was a 'heat of the moment" situation, etc. It may be helpful if your brother were to agree to do something along the lines of counseling so that he can then perhaps get a counselor to testify that he does not have anger management issues and that this should not affect his parenting ability. Your brother's lawyer may also want to advance an argument that the bottle incident did not happen in the vicintiy of the children.


I know that I haven't necessary given you the answer you wanted to hear, but it is consistent with the law in NJ regarding custody. Again, I think it's important for your brother to retain a local family law immediately so hopefully this situation can be "nipped in the bud."


If I have answered your question, please provide me with a positive rating so that I may receive credit for answering; thanks very much and I wish you and your brother the best here.


Thank you. The information provided has been helpful. Since this sort of situation is new to our family, I have to review and re-review. We are trying very hard to have my brother contact a lawyer...he still thinks there is a chance to save the marriage. I will review both cases and if any questions pop up, I will contact you again.










The thing is the month of August have not been a good month for us. One of my cousin passed away, a week later our one and only pet passed away with cancer and then the week after one of my aunt passed away with stage 4 cancer. so this has been tough to deal with emotionally and then to have a divorce coming your way..its not a good..the kids never witness any incident


Family Law Answers :

I am so sorry to hear of your sad circumstances this past month, and hope that things start to turn around for you and your family!


I'm glad that I was able to be helpful here. I would ask if you could please provide me with a positive rating so that I may receive credit for answering, I would really appreciate that.


Thanks again.

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