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AttorneyTom, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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I live in WA state, have been sober for 10 years and cleaned

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I live in WA state, have been sober for 10 years and cleaned up my life. I remarried and the past few years, my wife is extremely emotionally abusive to me and my kids. she threatens me with my past. i'm afraid to leave. what can i do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
Hello. Thank you for coming to JustAnswer. I am Thoreau and I am sending this answer to you only a few minutes after you asked your question.
I don't really understand what you mean by "she threatens me with my past."
Can you clarify that a bit?
Also, please tell me, what exactly do you want to know?
Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
because i used to drink and have an assault charge, she says i will lose the kids and our home and she will make me pay her alimony. if i file for divorce how do i prove she is abusive?
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your message. I apologize for the brief delay. I was responding to another customer when you replied and I was unable to view your message until now. I am working on an answer to your question right now and I will post it as soon as possible.
Thank you.
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
I'm sorry to hear about the situation. That's very difficult. The reality is that the court will look at your past, including your alcohol abuse and any history of violence, when making determinations as to child custody. However, if it can be shown that all of that is well in the past and that you no longer behave that way, the court may decline to give that much weight. The court will also consider the way your wife treats the children and the effect of that on them, and that consideration would include any emotional abuse. The court looks at everything relevant to make a custody decision, and that includes all of those things on both side of the matter. It's not possible to predict the outcome, but it sounds like there are things that way for and against you, so you would present all of that to your attorney and he would try to show the court that the child's best interests are served by placement with you, were you to seek a divorce. With alimony, the court likewise considers a variety of relevant factors, analyzing the age and health of each spouse, earning abilities, financial resources, needs, and ability to pay. The matter is discretionary for the court and the determination is made based on the consideration of all of those factors.
Please remember that my job here is to provide accurate information about the law. Providing bad news is the hardest part of doing my job but it's a big part of doing my job well. If you feel that the law is wrong or unfair, I'd strongly encourage you to contact your legislators, as they are the only ones who can change it.
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