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AttorneyTom, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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I have a 2 year old son. The father has visitation alt weekends

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I have a 2 year old son. The father has visitation alt weekends and holidays. He calls/texts anytime there is a problem, w him being late. He always picks him up, sometimes others are in the car with him but he has never sent someone else. However the past weekend, June 2, 2012. The grandfather shows up (who i have only seen 3x, interacted w 2x) i thought james was in the car, so i let my son go in the car.. i look back hes not in the car. (things esc, so i take him back with me; will tell whole story upon asking). I got no text/call informing me he was sending someone else, i thought it was fishy that when i asked the grampa wouldn't call him to confirm he was to pick him up. I told the grampa to have James pick my son up because he wasn't allowed to. Later after the grampa leaves, i get several missed calls from the father, and a text threatening to take me to court and telling me to give my son to the grampa. He also stated "it says, in plain english anyone who the kid knows can take him from my house. I really dont see how that is possible when 1) I don't know anyone my child knows on that side, 2) my child is 2, he knows barney so if someone came to my house dressed as barney says "james told me to pick him up" should i give him to him?, 3) I was given no prior texts/call about this change, 4) I don't even have contact information and I'm not even allowed to check on my son/call my son while he's with his father. I'm not even allowed to speak to his family... so if someone just drops by and decides they want to take my kid to Mexico, and when i ask James he says "i didn't tell anyone to pick him up" my kids just gone forever!!! smh, that just doesn't make sense.. . the result, The grampa never came back for him.The father has threatened to take me to court, can he take my child away from me or gain more physical custody of him? also, Is there anyway I can make sure that we can only be in agreement on who picks my son up, being the father only or if I agree. It cant be legal that he can send whoever he wants to get my kid from my house, not even that but sending whoever to my house without my permission.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for the opportunity to answer your question. I am sending this answer to you only a few minutes after you submitted your question.
I'm sorry to hear about the situation. Unless the court order states otherwise, a parent may send another competent and responsible party to pick up a child for visitation. That said, if the custodial parent is uncomfortable with the matter, the noncustodial parent should generally be available to inform her of the approved pick up. If a custodial parent denies the noncustodial parent visitation by refusing a pick up to a competent third party appointed by the noncustodial parent, the noncustodial parent could motion for contempt.
It sounds like there was a misunderstanding, and such matters can often be resolved amicably. You may be able to work out an arrangement with your ex that he notifies you if he wishes to have a third party pick up the child. However, if that's not successful, it's possible to ask the court for such notice or to ask the court to require him to pick up the child, particularly if it appears that he is letting others use his visitation time and if he is not using it himself. Contempt issues can affect custody proceedings in the future but, if the situation was reasonably understandable, a court may decline to find a parent in contempt and, even if the court does, sanctions and the effect on future proceedings may be mild.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i would prefer that the father is the only person to pick my son up. I have no contact information for anyone else. Plus there is always some kind of problem/conflict that arises when his family is involved. I would rather just deal with him. Is it legal that he can not allow me to call to speak to and or check up on my son, becuase he doesnt.
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
If you would prefer that only the father pick up your child, you could ask the court to modify the order specifying such. Further, if the court orders don't specify that the child is to be accessible, you can ask the court to order that he is to provide reasonable access to the child so that you can communicate with the child during visits. The court will expect that such communication would be limited so as to avoid interfering with visitation, but the court can enter such an order.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I just asked him for notice and he tells me that he is sending someone else to pick up my son, he says he's letting me know right now that either of his parents or his sister can pick up my son by this one text , and he is not going to let me know on those individual days. I only asked that he give me notice on the specific days. and i believe he was out of town on his visitation weekend and therefore asked his parent to pick up my son. So he missed his past weekend, since the "misunderstanding, am i obligated to give him another weekend because he missed his last one? Is there a way i can ask that he is the only one to pick up my son? will they allow this?
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
If a parent refuses to let another parent exercise his visitation, she would be violating a court order and the other parent can motion for contempt. The court can then sanction the noncompliant parent unless there was a good reason for the refusal. A custodial parent doesn't have to provide any visitation outside of the court's orders but, if the custodial parent violates a court order, allowing a parent to make up lost visitation could weigh in that parent's favor in contempt proceedings, depending on the disposition of the court.
As discussed above, it's possible to ask the court to specify that only the parent can pick up a child and that he cannot send others to do so.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what would be the best way to word this if I were (most likely) to ask the court to specify that only the parent can pick up the child and others cannot do so? i will be filing a form, but i dont know which one to fill out, and I dont know how to word it. I will be acceptiong the answer once the question is answered, you did a great service.
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your message and thank you for the compliment.
Unfortunately, it's actually not possible for me to provide the wording for something or to help you fill out forms. That's beyond the scope of what we can provide here, as it is legal advice or legal services. However, I would be happy to answer any additional questions you have about the law. I can tell you, with regard to a layperson's filings, that courts are not especially particular about word choice as long as the petition is respectful, professional, and clear as to what is being requested.
The Clerk of Court's Office should be able to provide you with all of the forms you need.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
after filling out this fprm would i have to go to court? i absolutely hate going to court.
Expert:  AttorneyTom replied 5 years ago.
I don't blame you but yes. A court appearance is probable. If you retain an attorney, you attorney can handle that for you.
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