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Joseph, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 7280
Experience:  I have over a decade of experience as a Family Law litigator
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Exs phone talking about marijuana enough to refile

Resolved Question:

My son was with me the majority of the time until Sept of last year on which we agreed that mother have him M-F and I have him F-M. He is also court ordered to be in therapy with a therapist that his mom & I chose. Since the court date in Sept my son has not seen the therapist despite all my efforts. Since the schedule changed last year my son had been sent to the principals office 15+ times &sent home from school almost as many. His mother is to be discussing everything with me but she never lets me know ANYTHING that is going on at school and I have emails showing my attempts to be more involved with the school and addressing these problems. His previous year(with me) he had not got in any trouble & they had no concerns about him. At the end of the year I was informed my son was not going to be allowed to go on to the 1st grade. This weekend my son came home and I went through his backpack, his weekly folder w/announcements & newsletters etc has not been signed or looked at in 4 weeks. BM has asked me multiple times for her child support early and for extra money so she could pay for the afterschool care for which i gave her the money. In his backpack it had last months bill and this months bill of childcare that has not been paid and both are now late so the school will not watch him. She also hasnt paid his school fees that were due 8/15 for which there was bill for that had been in there for weeks. There was also multiple fliers for school events, his weekly homework due thursday that was not finished, his reading work not even started, a slip for parent teacher conferences signup due last week as well as a field trip permission slip & appx 20 graded school papers. This is a common problem. My son also had an old cell phone of his moms that she gave him. He was taking pictures on it & showing me when he showed me a pic his mom had taken at a bar. I was concerned about the content on the phone and looked through it. There are multiple messages on the phone talking about Marijuana. One message BM asked my sons baby sitter if she could get some weed from her when she picked up my son (she is the one who is to be watching my son)and other messages from friends about buying/selling weed while my son was with her. I am very concerned about my son & am wondering if this is enough to file for a change in custody for my son.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Joseph replied 5 years ago.

Hello and thanks for choosing Just Answer®. I am a licensed family law attorney, and I will be glad to try and assist you.


To provide you with accurate information, could you please clarify these points so I can best address your inquiry:


  1. Why did you agree to the custodial change last year?
  2. How was that accomplished, by a written agreement between the two of you or was the court involved?



Once I hear back from you, I will be glad to let you know my answer. There may be some delay as I am assisting other customers or am away from my computer. Please rest assured, however, that I will get back to you as soon as possible.


Thank you.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

BM signed over custody of child to me in notarized agreement in 2006 when he was with me fulltime. apx a yr later she wanted to get involved but was not taking child on agreed times, when i filed to only put our agreement in writing she ambushed my wife who was watching my son outside my house, took the child and kept him saying she was fighting for full custody. At time i did not have my drivers license and my wife was taking care of dr's etc and was watching my son and the judge wanted to give my sons mom a chance. He was with me majority time still. Since then her husband has been arrested for DV, he has been physically abusive towards my son, his mom, and has put his hands on me. I have filed multiple emergency hearings and a social worker said that she believed i was coaching my son to say things(not true at all, this is why he is ordered to see a therapist). The last CFI wanted a schedule that rotates 4 days there, 3 days here, every 4th week 4 days here. Also wanted her and i to do both individual conseling & family counseling, parenting coordinator(all which i have to pay for). She lives in another town so it is not possible for me to take him to school in his town from my house so we decided that for my 3 days it would be on the weekend. put in there child support, taxes, and that he will continue in therapy and had it notarized and i expressed my concern to her.We turned in our agreement before the court date at which the judge granted it & told her she was giving her a chance and not to mess it up and i honestly hoped that this wouldnt happen. Dont really want to be fighting with her again but this is just not ok!

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

And thank you!


Expert:  Joseph replied 5 years ago.

Please understand that no attorney can guarantee you what is "enough" to get custody changed. However, we can provide some guidance as to what might be sufficient. As to that...


I would suggest that you have enough here to warrant a change in the custodial arrangement. As you may know, a change in the custodial arrangement is typically based on a substantial change in circumstances. Here you have some serious issues with the mother. The mother has failed or refused to facilitate the child's therapy. The mother has demonstrated that she is unable or unwilling to help the child with school. Perhaps most disturbing, there is evidence that she is using illegal drugs.


I would suggest that this evidence is sufficient to get a judge to change the custodial arrangement.


Please let me know if anything requires clarification.


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