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Teacher Editor
Teacher Editor, Instructor
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  College Instructor
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Hello, I am a 40 yr old woman with two girls (17.5 and 13).

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Hello,
I am a 40 yr old woman with two girls (17.5 and 13). Me and my husband have been living separately since March, 2010. My husband filed a motion for divorce and girls decided to live with me. We have a hearing next month. court will decide custody issues. meanwhile, I have a few questions for you.
1. I have been paying all expenses since then. does court will ask him to pay me back these expenses? do we have to share all of our savings because he saved lot of money as I have been paying everything for last year and half.
2. My daughter (13) goes to a private school and we had an agreement of paying the fees. I would like to send he to the same school this year. can he refuse to pay? He said he will pay if I agree for a shared custody and court might not grant this due to his abusive history.
3. My older daughter used to see an education counselor. she wants to see this counselor again as she really need help with he admission process into a university. He said same thing when I email him, asking him to pay 50% of the fees. he says he would pay it if I come to a mutual agreement with divorce and agree for a shared custody. I decided to pay 100% of the fee for now. Can I demand 50% of it later in court?
I greatly appreciate your help. thank you.

Linda Roch :

Hello and welcome! If you have any other questions, please let me know or please click Accept.

Linda Roch :

If you agree on custody, the judge would grant the agreement unless he sees something that goes against the best interests of the children.

Linda Roch :

So there may be a chance that the judge would not allow him to have primary custody if he thinks your hsuband is a danger to the children.

Linda Roch :

In addition, if you agree, the judge will enter any agreement as to financial issues.

Linda Roch :

If you do not agree, the judge would usually decide what is fair based on the custody situation. Usually, this does not include paying you back for anything that has happened in the past or any agreements that you have made in the past as he cannot undo the past except to possibly grant you alimony or meintenance.

Linda Roch :

Same goes for his savings account. If he has saved the money after you separated, then you probably will not receive half of it as you are only eligible to receive anything you have acquired together post-marriage and pre-separation.

Linda Roch :

But there is always a chance.

Linda Roch :

Just remember that if you make an agreement, that is better than having a judge decide and at the end of the day, the judge will make the decision based on the best interests of the child.

Customer:

so, I am not getting anything I paid for children so far, is that right?

Linda Roch :

It doesn't mean you won't get anything but usually the agreements do not compensate for past payments, only for future. You should still ask the judge for compensation and you may get lucky.

Linda Roch :

You can also agree that he will compensate you and put that in the agreed order and then you will get compensated.

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