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As part of her answer your daughter should indicate a counterclaim for custody of the children. She must indicate she wants custody of the children, spousal and child support, and a distribution of property. An initial hearing will be held where custody and support can be decided during the pendency of the divorce proceeding.
Your daughter can request a modification of the existing support order at the initial hearing as well. Otherwise she can file a motion for modification of the current order, and or she can file a motion to vacate the prior order based on the intercepting of the mail. However you stated the judge already vacated the default order, apparently to allow your daughter to respond.
The girlfriends income is immaterial to a child support determination. She is not obligated to support the children. The fact the husband is benefiting from the relationship may be of value in determining spousal support. You can subpoena the girlfriends' financial as part of the divorce process.
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