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P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34996
Experience:  16 yrs. of experience including family law.
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My ex-husband is playing shenanigans with his visitation and

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My ex-husband is playing shenanigans with his visitation and I need some advice; I also have a question about moving myself with my son. The custody order is in Multnomah County, OR; he currently resides in Clackamas I believe. I live in Alameda County, CA. Thank you.
Thanks for the chance to help. I am an attorney with over 12 years experience. Hopefully I can help you with your legal question.

Can you give a bit more context...your in the Bay Area, but he is in Oregon..does the custody order reflect this?

Is he not following the current order?

What is going on?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi, so sorry about that, I've not used this service before and was a bit confused.

The order does reflect that we are in different states, although it's something like 10 years old and we don't follow it exactly (it was written when my son was not yet in school, so what was "reasonable" then no longer is).

What we adhere to now is the fairly standard agreement, my son is supposed to go to his father in the summer, and every other Christmas, and Spring Break if his father wants him.

He has not seen his father since Summer 2009.

Now my ex-husband thinks he can just tell me he's taking my son for only a week this summer, which will frankly be not just a pain in the tailfeathers but an actual hardship. I need to know, can he DO that? can he just decide when it's convenient to be a parent?

Also, I'm looking to relocate out of California; to Iowa, to be precise. I'm a college student, and education in CA is headed down the tubes fast, so I'm looking for greener educational pastures. Can he prevent me from doing so?

Thank you for your time and expertise, feel free to ask if I've left anything out.

Alayna Barnett

The order is still valid. Unless or until its changed, it can be enforced.

And that is the key to this goes back to the original order.

So the start to unravel this mess is to pull out a copy of the order. IF you do not have a copy? Then you would want to contact the clerk of the court and they can provide you a copy.

Here is the contact info
(sorry for the delay...took awhile to get this address)

Now, on to your question....once you get the order, you can require him to comply with it. He has to follow the court order. From what you describe, it sounds as though he is not following the order. Your recourse to require him to follow the order, is to take him back to court.

The problem you have is that the OR court retains have to go to OR to resolve this.

SO, he refuses to take the child? You want him to? You need to go to the OR court and the court will order he take the child. Of course, if he has not seen the child in a few years, that can be grounds to modify the order...heck, you may be able to give him even less time with the child.

As for him stopping your move? Doubt it...not with what you describe...not with the games he is playing and his lack of contact with the child.

IF he wants to try and take the child from you or stop your move, he needs to hire a lawyer and ask the court to intervene...of course, you can have a lawyer present your side of the case...what you describe? He would not win.

It may cost you some money (of course it will cost him as well)...but you will be able to move.

Let me know if you have more questions
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
So, just to make sure I'm understanding:

I don't have to let him take him for a week, but if I don't then I have to be willing to fall back on the original order (which I do have a copy of) or go to court, which I can't afford to do in light of my impending move. Ok, well, maybe I can bluff him a little into at least taking him the week I move! The original order is 2 week visit every six weeks, by the way; no one in their right mind would think that's reasonable for a sixth grader, although it worked well 10 years ago.

What you say about the move is reassuring, I will go ahead with my plans and he can take me to court after if he is able to come up with the money!

Yea, I think he is bluffing (or does not understand the cost associated with trying to stop you).

The court will decide this based on one thing only. "What is best for the child". NOT what is best for mom, or dad, or really anyone/thing else. The court is concerned about the child.

So even if he hires a lawyer? I do not think the court will take custody from you or stop you from earning a living to support your child.

P. Simmons and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
you are so very awesome, thank you for the reassurance! Your assistance is so much appreciated, as is the clear, concise language you use.