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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  I provide family and divorce law advice to my clients in my firm.
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Recently my fiance called off our wedding and she was pregnant

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Recently my fiance called off our wedding and she was pregnant with our child. She was serious about adoption and abortion but more so adoption. I have always been excited to be a father and she has had the attitude that she doesnt want our child. I was from the beginning willing to take full custody. Now she decided that she is keeping the baby and wants to do a 70/30 deal with her being the primary parent. I think that it shouldnt be that way because she was the one that wanted to give it up so fast because she was more concerned about herself and her career and her needs, and not our childs. She decided all of this after going to counseling and she is going to continue to seek help. Her parents were the ones who stepped in and decided she needed help. I was wondering what some good options for custody are? I know the child needs a place to call home but I feel I am the stronger better fit parent to be the primary caretaker.
Thank you for your question.

This decision to possibly adopt the child out took place prior to birth, correct? It is when the birth happened that your former fiance changed her mind?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
actually she is 12 weeks pregnant so she has not given birth to our child yet. she told me all this and made up her mind after showing no signs of anything and after we went to the 1st ultrasound. Seems like it wasnt until she talked to her counselor that she was so abrupt about all this.
Oh I see, so the child was not born yet?

You are simply trying to do preliminary research to see if you can get custody?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
exactly! I feel its best to figure this out now and have something legally agreeable so she cant change her mind in the future. I am a very responsible person and have many people including even some of her friends and family on my side.
Thank you for your follow-up.

Final set of questions.

First of all, is your ex somehow unfit to raise a child? Doe she have a history of abuse, neglect, domestic violence, drug use, alcohol abuse, criminal history/record/parole/probation, moral turpitude, or anything else that would make a judge stand up and take notice? What about you?

How is your ex? What about you? Does she or do you have full-time employment? Has your ex begun some sort of informal or formal adoption paperwork already?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
she doesnt have any history of abuse or anything. The only thing I had was a DUI about a year ago so that probably doesnt help me out but thats the only time I have ever been in trouble. Not even a speeding ticket. I am not an alcoholic or an addict of any kind at all. i was just a 23yr old who made a bad decission one night. I worked at a brew pub and lived in a college town. But any counselor or polic officer that knows me could tell you I am a stand up guy and always succeeded above all the rest and always cooperative.

She is o.k. she is going through a lot with calling off our life together, being pregnant, and her cat is sick. She is part time employed making $8.74hr and doing her internship for school with no sty pen. I am full time employed at Marriott with full benefits and good pay but i was thinking about leaving that job to move to be there..Thats something i forgot to mention she lives in Grand Junction, CO and I currently live in Denver, CO

I don;t think she has filled out any paperwork out of any kind.
Thank you for your follow-up.

She currently lives on campus or at home? How about you?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
she currently lives with her parents house. I have my own apartment in a nice neighborhood her in denver
Thank you for your patience.

The reason I was asking all of those questions is to have a better understanding of you and your fiance. To give you your answer I will go down the list and summarize the most important factors that you need to be aware of.

First of all, until the child is born, you, for the most part, have no rights to the child. It is the sole right of the mother to choose to bring the child to term or to have a procedure. Similarly, it is generally up to her as to whether or not to seek out a possible adoption. You can petition the courts early yourself for a paternity suit and request testing, but until you are not deemed to be the father, you cannot make any formal decisions here. Similarly, if your fiance decides to be difficult, she may choose to not place your name on the birth certificate, forcing you to file for a paternity hearing and order via the courts. (Not stating that will happen, but it may).

Second, the courts generally base their decisions on "fitness" of parents and on what they deem to be in the "best interest" of the child. That means that if you want custody, you must show yourself to be more fit, responsible, and able, and attack her fitness from the conditions I defined above. It is not likely that you will get custody, all factors being equal, without your ex being shown as someone who is dangerous or otherwise not someone who should be around children.

Good luck.
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