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socrateaser, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 38910
Experience:  Retired (mostly)
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I live in nc and this friday the judge will sign off on our

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I live in nc and this friday the judge will sign off on our uncontested devorce. our papers does not specify who has full/shared custody or anything like that. I wanted split legal custody 100% 50/50. but she wants full legal custody and maybe split 50/50 shared time with our son. she is now wants to move to california to be close to her friends.What can i do to keep her from taking him to cali. I want my son to be raised in n.c. with his aunts and uncles and cousins. I want my son as much as i can have him with me. Is there any way she can get full custody and leave to cali and control his time between me and her.
If your court judgment/decree does not make custody orders, then each parent still has joint custody, and either can legally exercise jurisdiction over the child. As a practical matter, this means that your ex could move the child to California on Monday, and you could pick up the child and return to North Carolina on Tuesday.

Naturally, this is an impossible situation, and what it really means is that you do not have an uncontested divorce. Assuming that the court were to sign off, you would still have to return and petition for custody and support orders. So, you may want to think about hiring a lawyer and making that happen, before things get really ugly.

Re your ex relocating to California, yes, that sort of thing happens all the time. Unless you can show that you spend as much time parenting the child as your ex, and that you have a very strong emotional bond, then the other parent, if her bond and time is stronger and more consistent, can get an order permitting relocation to another State.

Whether or not this would actually happen is pure speculation.

You have a choice: you can try to straighten out the relcoation issue now, or you can wait for your ex to leave with the child, and then go to court and ask for orders to have the child returned. The court won't be happy that the other parent picked up and left, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the court will order the parent to return, either.

It's a bit of a crapshoot. If you act now, you will at least know exactly where you stand.

For a family law attorney referral, see these links: ABA or Martindale. If you can't afford a lawyer then try legal aid.

Hope this helps.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

How can i go about proving my time with him. I have had him atleast 50% but im sure much more for almost a year now. He adores me and i want him every second i can get him. We have been doing a week on and week off schedule for a month or so but before that i had him more than she did. she says she wants to do 3weeks on 3weeks off to see if i can be a compatent father.she wants to see how we handle it. we have been peacful and not wanting to go the fighting lawyer route. but i know she is seeing a new boyfriend in cali.


You need an objective witness who can testify to your time with the child. A neighbor who doesn't have any particular stake in the controversy (no particular friend to either you or your ex) could be used. And, you could ask your ex to sign an acknowledgement, confirming your shared parenting agreement. It wouldn't be enforceable in court, but it would be evidence that you agreed to share custody, and under what terms and conditions -- which means that your ex must think you're at least somewhat capable of exercising shared custody.

If your ex is willing to sign an agreement for three-week split custody, then that would be her undoing, because a long period of time like that demonstrates that either of you is capable of being sole custodian of the child, and that would make your ex's relocation very difficult, from the court's perspective.

Hope this helps.

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