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My childs father and I currently live in Md. I have been…

My child's father and...
My child's father and I currently
live in Md. I have been dating a man in the military now for two yrs long distance. My son is 11mths. Yes I started talking to the man in the military while I was dating the child's father due to the way he started treating me once I was pregnant. The man in the military and I have fallen deeply in love and he wants me to marry him. The child's father and I can not seem to get along enough to have a normal relationship. My son's father has said he will fight for custody if I move to Fl where my husband would be stationed. I am willing to travel once a mth back to Md so the father can see his son for a weekend. I have always been a good mother the father is great too but works 2jobs and is not exactly fit to be a full time parent due to all the hours he works and he has no patience. Does a Judge in the state of md tend to grant the mother full custody no matter what ? Can anyone help or recommend a wonderful lawyer in the state of Md ? How much does something like this usually cost ? Thanks so much for reading !
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9/1/2010
legaleagle
legaleagle, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13,441
Experience: Practicing attorney for 10 years
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legaleagle :

No the judges will look at what is in the best interest of the child. But if the father has not been the full time care giver and works two jobs it is more likely than not that the mother will be given custody with the father getting visitation. If the father fights you are looking at between $5K-15K depending on how long a hearing takes in this matter of if you can reach some agreement in a mediation.

legaleagle :

Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Customer :

Im not sure if you got my reply or not

legaleagle :

I did not get your reply. Can you retype it? thanks.

Customer :

If the father agrees to stop working his night job would the judge give him custody ? Also he has shown a tendency to have an anger problem and has been verbally abusive using words like stupid and moron w his 8 yr old and has even used a belt to beat him but its my word against his

Customer :

Also I am perscribed adderall for add and lexapro for anxiety which is a small dose. Can he use that against me

legaleagle :

No just quitting one job does not mean him having custody is in the best interest of the child. Your word is just as good as any other physical evidence so you presenting the anger management issue to the court will help your case for full custody. No your ADD and anxiety are not issues that make you unfit. Having an anger issue can make a parent unfit. Also the fact that you will be providing a stable home with two parents gives you an advantage over him.

Customer :

The 8yr olds mother called cps as soon as she found out he spanked him w a belt but cps droped the case because he denied it and the son seemed perfectly fine when they visited him at his school.

Customer :

how does the court usually work dealing w awarding him w visitation rts

Customer :

onsidering Id be out of state at quite a distance

legaleagle :

If you saw the incident with the belt you can tell the court about it in your custody case. If you did not see it then it would be best to leave out since there is no evidence and CPS did not confirm or find evidence on the child. But emotional abuse with the hurtful words is just as damaging and you can testify to what you have heard him say.

Customer :

Will they require the 8yr old to testify

legaleagle :

As far as visits when you leave in different states, but also due to the young age of the child, he may get one weekend a month and then short visits during Christmas and summers which would get longer when the child is older and has more of a relationship with the father.

legaleagle :

No the court will not require the 8 year old to testify.

Customer :

I do have pictures of marks he has left on the 8yr old

legaleagle :

That is definitely admissable.

Customer :

as well as an email that was sent back and forth w the mother at the time of cps getting called and in the email he denies the abuse but she does at least mention it

legaleagle :

The email would not be helpful if he denied the abuse. So it would not be worth trying to get the email into evidence.

Customer :

I have a past of smoking pot but have quit and would be willing to take any drug test . How would work w my case

legaleagle :

If he brings that up the court may ask to you to submit to testing but if you pass then it will not be a factor used against you.

Customer :

So I should definetly get married b 4 i try for custody ? Should I file for emergency custody b4 i go to fl

Customer :

What steps should I take b4 I move ? Should I wait for him to file for custody or I mean fight it

legaleagle :

You do not HAVE to get marreid before you file, just the fact that you are gettig married to a stable employed individual is enough but you can get married first, it will not hurt you. You should file for emergency custody before you leave the state. Because if you just leave for FL and then he files you will just have to return to deal with it. It is better to have the custody at least temporarily settled before you leave.

Customer :

How long does that order of custody last ? What if he does not file a custody order rt away but does later

legaleagle :

If you get a temp order it can be for 30 days or until a final hearing can be scheduled. If he does not file you need to file if you want to leave the state.

Customer :

What would my emergency be ?

Customer :

is there a hearing no matter what after an order is put in for temp custodoy

legaleagle :

It does not have to be an actual emergency, it is just called that because you want it quickly so you can move or get something in place sooner rather than later. Yes after the temp order is in place there has to be either an agreement by mediation or a hearing to get a final order.

Customer :

Do I need to be out of the home w the father a certain amount of time b4 I file for temp custody and move

legaleagle :

No you do not.

Customer :

are you in the md area ?

legaleagle :

Unfortunately no.

Customer :

darn.

Customer :

can u recommend anyone

legaleagle :

I do not know anyone in MD. But you can go to the state bar website and contact the bar attorney referral program.

Customer :

Does a lawyer expect payment b4 the service ?

Customer :

Do they usuallty except paymnet installments

Customer :

and at what point should I contact a lawyer

legaleagle :

Most lawyers in family law want payment upfront or at least a retainer. Some will do installments. Also you can contact legal aid to see if you can get free help. If you are going to try to get a temp order you can file the petiiton yourself but at least hire someone if he contests your petition for custody.

Customer :

if he contests the temp custody ? Would I need a lawyer for the temp custody hearing ?

legaleagle :

Not for the temp hearing if you feel you can handle that hearing on your own but by time there is a hearing for a final order you should have an attorney.

Customer :

Petition meaning for full custody ?

Customer :

So what would happen at the hearing for temp custody ?

Customer :

is that when he would attest the petition of full custody

legaleagle :

You petition for a temporary order for full custody and then after you get that order you have a hearing or mediation set for a final order. At a temp custody hearing you show that the child is living with you and you need an order to be in place to keep the custody that way until a mediation or hearing for a final order for full custody can be issued. He can contest the temp order and ask that he get temp custody until a final order can be issued.

Customer :

How would they choose whether or not he gets the temp custody until the final order

Customer :

That is if he contests

legaleagle :

He would have to show why the baby should be taken from the current custody situation. Usually even if he says he wants the temp custody since you filed and you have the child living with you, you will get temp custody.

Customer :

Thank You you've been alot of help

legaleagle :

You are welcome.

legaleagle
legaleagle, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13,441
Experience: Practicing attorney for 10 years
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