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S. Kincaid
S. Kincaid, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2512
Experience:  I have practiced family law since 1996, focusing on child custody and domestic violence
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Protection Order Violation Question I am the protected

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Protection Order Violation Question

I am the protected person in a DVPO with my ex. Ex and I in a dispute over schedule. I advised Ex I would be following our parenting plan as written unless he hired an attorney to contact me about issue which he did not do.

Our kids are with him, and according to schedule are suppose to return home tomorrow at 6 pm. However, tonight I received a facebook message from our 12 year old daughter advising they were going to Montana and would be returning home on the 11th.

I have not received any of this information from my ex. Order against him prohibits using a third party from contacting me, and also states he is not to contact me directly or indirectly. Question is if our daughter contacted me about the plans he had not to bring them home until the 11th, a Wed. when our plan in the summer only deals with exchanges on Sunday, even if he didn't put her up to telling me this himself, which I believe he did, is this indirect contact and thus a violation of the DVPO anyway.

He will deny having daughter tell me this. Don't want to bring daughter into it as point of this is to try and get her out of the middle he keeps wanting to put her in. However, I feel even if he didn't intend for her to tell me, information about his plans got to me, these plans are in heavy dispute between us, and it shouldn't have happened.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  dkennedy replied 7 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
dkennedy :

Hello, I would like to answer your question, but I need a little more information.

dkennedy :

If the order requires no information back and forth, and no third parties to contact you, what would happen if one of the children was hurt when with the father?

dkennedy :

How did any communication take place (concerning the children) prior to this incident?


Good question about what would happen if one of the children was hurt when with him. Since our daughter is 12, and I give her a phone to contact me with when with him, my guess is she would call me herself and tell me she had been hurt or her brother had been hurt. She would be doing it on her own to me is how I would view that.


Any communication regarding the children, their schedules, etc. has been done through an attorney. If he has to give short notice about something, he usually calls the exchange provider and tells her what he is doing, not going to be doing or he calls our daughter directly and tells her as it applies to her and the daycare provider directly, not me.


I think the big issue here is that his taking this trip during the timeframe he wants is not allowed by our parenting plan. He sent an email to my attorney about it, and I sent him an email back saying I was not going to pay for his use of an attorney anymore as I can't afford it. Said he needed to hire his own lawyer to work this out as DVPO against him states he can only communicate with me through the serving or mailing of court documents or his attorney. He doesn't want to pay for an attorney, rather abuse me some more with the cost, so he didn't do it.


Instead, he is just trying to do what he wants, and is violating our parenting plan by telling our daughter schedule changes which him and I have not agreed to. I believe he knows if he told her anything about the plans he was making he would know she would tell me as she always tells me things like this. He is just using her to get around having to hire an attorney to tell me what he is doing as it is against the parenting plan and he knows I won't agree to it.

Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 7 years ago.
Your remedies might be dependent on the state you are in. You may be able to file a contempt action in the court that issued the Order of Protection or you might be able to file a police report and have the other party criminally charged for violation of the DVPO. If you have an attorney, I would advise speaking with that attorney prior to using either of these remedies. Sometimes, filing a contempt action or police report for small violations (i.e. non-violent violations) is not advisable given the climate of a particular custody case. If, however, the other party takes off to another state with the children in violation of a custody order and/or DVPO, I believe this would be a major violation that should be reported addressed in one of these two ways.
Expert:  S. Kincaid replied 7 years ago.
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S. Kincaid, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2512
Experience: I have practiced family law since 1996, focusing on child custody and domestic violence
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