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I live in Illinois. My wife and I have voluntarily decided…

I live in Illinois...
I live in Illinois. My wife and I have voluntarily decided to separate. I work & my wife also works full time from 8 to 5 each day. We have decided that I will have the children in the evenings half time of the time and she will keep them the other half. However, during the day, she insists that our children must be take to work with her and remain with her during the day. She will not allow me to have them during that time even though I have told her this is not my wish. I want them half of the day time as well and would make arrangements for them as I see fit during that time. They would not be in a work environment with me. She is very controlling and wants me to have them as little time as possible. Do I have any legal recourse for this situation or is my only recourse to file for divorce and to work it out that way.
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Answered in 1 minute by:
6/24/2010
Tina
Tina, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33,167
Experience: JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
Verified

What does she do for a living that she could take the children to work?

 

 

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
She runs an electrical contracting business.

I see. You could request that you each have first rights of refusal for the children when the other is working. If there is no way she will agree, you could agree on an attorney to mediate the issue for you.

 

Otherwise, you will need to file for a divorce or legal separation and allow the court to decide what is in the best interests of the children. Courts often order mediation though, so you will likely be compelled to try to work out the issue together.

 

First right of refusal is a good alternative when the parents are working though.

 

 

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Thank you. Has it been your experience that mediators do a good job or are thery there just to get an agreement. In my case, I think it is only fair that I get to decide where the children should be half of the time - my half. After all my wife is just trying to have more time with them and provide me with less. Do you believe a mediator would see the current situation as unfair?.

Yes. You would be entitled to at least 1/2 time and the more you show a willingness to work together in the best interests of the children and your wife does not, the more favorable the outcome should be. Less than 1/2 time would be unfair in most circumstances.

 

Mediators are like any other profession. There are very good ones and not so good ones. If you know others in your area that have gone through a divorce, word of mouth is a good way to find the best ones. Family law attorneys in your area will know who the good ones are as well.

 

 

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Thanks again - A couple more question - Under divorce proceedings, is the mediator a court appointed person or do the lawyers for each party select them? Do I have any "say" in the selection?

 

Also, if my wife continues to insist on this arrangement - even after mediation and we cannot come to agreement - is that reported to the court? If it is,what reprocussions would it have on her?

The parties usually get to select the mediator unless they cannot agree on that.

 

Settlement negotiations are not reported to the court. Generally, the mediator will report that mediation took place only and whether or not there was an agreement.

 

All the best to you!

 

 

Please remember: even if you have a subscription, I do not get credited for my work by JA until you press the ACCEPT button. Thanks again!

Tina
Tina, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33,167
Experience: JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
Verified
Tina and 87 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Thanks, Tina

You are very welcome! Take care.

 

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