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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
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My husband is divorcing me; I caught him having some sort of

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My husband is divorcing me; I caught him having some sort of online emotional affair, and he said he wanted a divorce after I confronted him. I found a bunch of other stuff on his computer as well. A bunch of websites where he was looking up borderline personality disorders and stuff-apparently diagnosing me. Now I have found out that he has been keeping some sort of journal on me for the past 1.5 years documenting my behavior. I'm not really sure what he is documenting, we have had fights, but I have never done any sort of abusive/physical type behavior. When we first moved here, I was drinking more than normal, but that stopped about a year ago. He has convinced himself that I have a mental illness (have never been diagnosed)-although he's been seeing a counselor for over a year. He has said that if I get too difficult in the divorce, he's going to use his journal. How will this effect me? I also found out that he's been plotting to leave me for about a 1.5 years as well.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 7 years ago.

Hello there:


I do not know what he thinks the journal will prove, but it will not prove anything except that he has kept a journal. Everything in there is his notes and his impressions; it may help him keep track of what his notes and impressions were, but that is it. You can keep a journal that says "April 30, 2010: husband lost temper, ate sixty-five bananas then jumped off the roof", but writing it would not make any part of your entry true.


In short, it is basically meaningless, and you should not worry about it at all.


Let me know if I may be of further assistance. Thank you.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
We have a daughter, and I think he is trying to show how much time he spent with her; he got home at 3:00 pm from work, and I would not get home until 6:30/7:00 from work due to my commute. He is saying that I was abusive to him (I guess he means verbally?), I don't really know. Like I said, we got into fights, mostly him going out and me getting left behind-he says I tried to isolate him. It makes me nervous, because I don't know what he's told his counselor either (I've never laid eyes on the woman). When he wanted a divorce I didn't fight him at all. Can he accuse me of verbal abuse from these journal entries? Can his counselor say I abused him from her sessions with him?
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 7 years ago.

Hello again:


both the notes and anything that he told his counselor would ordinarily be considered hearsay, and would therefore be inadmissible as evidence even if he tried.


He can accuse you of whatever he pleases, but mere accusations are meaningless. The fact that he thinks his journal will give him some kind of leverage underscores, in my mind, how little he knows about what he is doing.

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