I am living in Thailand...
I am living in Thailand but I used to live in America with a resident alien status through marriage
. Both of my children were born in the states and raised there.
In 2003 My ex, the kids and I came to Thailand and lived in a house that my father built for us. Rent free. No mortgage. A few months later he left because everyone in Thailand didn't bow down to him. The kids wished to go back to USA and live with their father. I finally got divorce
in 2005 in state of Louisiana with joint custody
. The kids father has primary and I have liberal visitation
as long as we agree. He keeps threatening
me that I won't be able to take our kids to visit Thailand and if I dont do what he tellls me to do or if he just gets angry at me.
I have always had the welfare of the kids in mind, in 2004 whether it involves asking them where they want to live and respecting their wishes even at the ages 6 and 10, suffering the consequences of her own broken heart.
I gave up my permanent residence status in 2006 and now with 10 years tourist visa. I've been going to visit my kids every summer. Now my father IS dying and could go any day. I thought he was gone last year when he lost control of his bowels on the stairs at home, distended belly, frightening liver and heart stats, in the hospital for a week, not in fancy care, just in a room with 10 other people, hot, doctors don't come in much, whatever. He's had a stroke, triple bypass, and a few other things, but he's still holding on because he seems to be made out of steel and leather. Here's my email requesting some equal time in a singular situation when it probably be that last time he will ever see his grandchildren. He can't travel on an airplane anymore.
My email to my ex (the only reason I want the kids to visit my father just for the summer in Thailand:
" First of all congratulations to B and you. Wishing you both have a happy and healthy life together.
Secondly, about this summer, I'd like to share my dad's health with you. Last year before I came over he had a heart attack and later in the year his liver started to deterirate from heart failure. More drugs were prescribed to him for his heart and now his liver become number one life threatening. His monthly blood tests show that his heart is now function only less than half of normal healthy person and his liver is in very dangerous scale compare to normal healthy person. Which means he is at risk of having an acute liver failure at anytime. He's been complaining about his abdomen a lot in past 6 months. He has to be very careful of his diet not eating salty and fatty food because his belly would bloated up tenth time it's normal size. I see his belly gets big few times now because he's not very good at not to eat certain food. Not only that someday he's fine the next day his face is gray and really old. My dad 's decisions are very clear that is not going back to have any of the medical treatments that his doctors suggested and his words "I made it to 77 so if I'm going die I'd be happy" and he'd like to die somewhere else whether while he's riding his motorcycle but not on the hospital bed with all the life supports being hooked up. The treatments suggested by his doctors were another bypass for the clogged arteries(two of them are now indeed clogged) and heart surgery to correct the location of the heart itself since they put his heart back incorrectly last time.
My mom agreed that he didn't need anymore invasive treatments. My mom and I know in our hearts that dad will die in the surgery room. And now all we can do is to be ready. It's very hard to even imagine him not being here anymore let alone the thought of me as the only child not being here for his departure. I will not be able to face the facts because I'm still can't come to term with the very facts of life. Most likely mom will not be able to function on her own. Whether she is a strong woman or not if something happens to dad, she will not know what to do. It's very hard for me to even write these down. I feel something choking me and too painful too say the truth. Death.
Sorry that was too long already. Lastly, I'd love to have the kids here after Nichole's recital in June to see their gradfather for the last time. My dad has a very strong bond for his first grandchild which is Nichole. He loves Tewin as much as well but he was there when she was a baby and she was his first grand daughter. He often ask about her grades and her developments. He even said to me that he can not fly to see th kids anymore, he would die.
I hope you'd understand how important this last chapter in my dad's life means to me.
He said he skimmed the email. His response was only: "You're going to kidnap the kids. Your dad's not dead. He's not going to die. I've been raising the kids alone. I make all the decisions. Take me to court. You'll never see the kids again until they're 18." Kidnapping? Joom brought the kids back in 2004 and 2006 when he was taking to military brigg for sleeping with a baby sitter. I could have kidnapped them at anytime during the past 5 years since they have dual citizen passports. Now I've just talked to his mother
and she volunteer to fly the kids over to Thailand and all the expenses paid for. So the issue of not returning the kids would be justified with my ex give his mother the guardianship
. Also, in my ex latest email he stated that he and his new wife has made a decision that visiting my dad in Thailand is not for the best interest of the kids. I said to him during phone conversasion that it's our decisions as parents who's been giving a joint custody, not just his alone. In addition, in his email didn't say anything whether or not he has asked the kids if they want to come see my father or not.
My daughter who is now 14 years old and my son 10 expressed to me over the phone conversions for the past year that they both love to come visit my father but dad has been saying NO. When I visit with them last summer in Topeka, Kansas, my son expressed to me many time that he wants to come live with me in Thailand but dad always say NO. My daugther on the hand, said that she'd wait until she graduate from Highschool and she will definitely come to live with me.
I love them and have been respecting their wishes since I remembered. It kills me to be away from them but Thailand is my home and I am the only child with ailing parents. I've been doing everything I can to stay in touch with my kids whether through facebook or daily phone calls. I also send child support
every month since the divorce.
My questions are the following;
1. How would I go about and exercise my rights, Joint custody? Equal time: Since the divorce in 2005, he's had the kids for about 42 months; I've had them for about 8, mostly in his home town at a major expense of coming to America.
2. What are the steps involving filing a petition to have equal time with the kids. I won't ask for sole custody
but I just want my right.
3. How long would it take to get it finalise?