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AlexiaEsq., Managing Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13555
Experience:  19+ Years of Legal Practice in Family law matters.
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My husband entered a rehab a year ago for drinking . He has

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My husband entered a rehab a year ago for drinking . He has not worked for a few years as i make a good income and he has had legal problems .. His parents gave him the money of $14000 of which we agreed to pay half thru a period of time .. because the rehab was not successful the in-laws now are requiring us to pay the full amount back .. Plus we have had problems and if i leave for a few days , his father will buy him cigarettes and daily items etc and expect me to then pay the bill this legal ?any advice .while i dont condone my husbands lifestyle , I also feel very trapped in this situation . His parents will buy him out of anything and then expect to collect off of me .
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 7 years ago.

Dear juju,


I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Here is the tough reality, as I see it, although for you, not necessarily so bad:


Unless you agree to pay for something, there is no obligation and they can't force you to pay for it. Thus, unless you agreed that if the rehab failed, you would now pay $14k vs. $7k, I would tell them to take a hike. I would also put them on notice IN WRITING (perhaps cert. r.r.r. or via email, so you can prove later that you clearly no longer agreed) that I am no longer paying for anything they buy for my husband unless they get it in writing from me first -as I no longer choose to waste my money on his addiction or wasteful ways, including cigarettes, etc. I will tell them that he is already provided all necessaries here at home, so they need not be suckered into an "daily items" - he has no needs that they are actually helping him with. So, they can throw their money ways and you are no longer going to support THEIR enabling habit.o tell them that I am through enabling their son to continue to be addicted and will no longer be paying for anything - if they choose to pay for anything, that is their choice, and if they continue to choose to enable him to be an unemployed addict mooching off his hardworking wife, so be it. There is no slavery here in PA, and you can do as you please. But, I would be sure to explain to the inlaws that you are NO longer paying for you or they to enable him. He needs to go to AA and quit, pull himself up by his bootstraps, OR go live with mom and dad so you can move forward and he doesn't suck you all down with him.


I would keep all bank accounts OUT of his name so he can't spend any of the money you bring in.


I would also look at my options of divorce, because you may be on the hook for his future medical bills when he gets chronically ill from his bodily abused (spouses can be held responsible for "necessaries" even if they don't sign for it)...More bankruptcies result from excessive medical bills, possibly, than anything else and I would hate to see that happen to you as well.


I realize that this is a kind of "confrontation" to your in laws that may make you extremely uncomfortable - but you need to save yourself and you will actually be doing your Husband a favor if he ever chooses to look and and take advantage of his blessings. Please save yourself, there is so much better out there for you, then to hurt your own psyche knowing you are enabling him and also hurting your own future by spending money you will need for your (alone or joint) future, retirement, etc.


Good luck juju - I feel for you and your situation.



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