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P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34759
Experience:  16 yrs. of experience including family law.
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i have been divorced for 4.5 years. My ex husband was mentally/emotional

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i have been divorced for 4.5 years. My ex husband was mentally/emotional abusive. We have 2 boys (4 and 8). we have joint legal custody and i am the primary custodial parent. He is somewhat a good father, he has anger issues and over the past 4 years he became physically abusive as well as verbal at times in front of our children. I have police reports and witnesses. He has of late proven again to be unstable in his life. he was thrown out of his parents home, which i had to go and pick my boys up during the argument he and his father were having from his weekend visitation. he has been in a unstable relationship with a women for the last 2 years and has no regards XXXXX XXXXX boys in the fact they do not like the relationship. she has 3 kids that are older and has many issues, ie...her teenage boy was expelled from private school, he was caught huffing and is in and out of trouble continually. her teenage daughter is pregnant and the younger one has emotional problems. they has played this back and forth game for 2 years and he has not lived with her but has moved 3 times in last 3 years. he proves himself unstable. i have had my oldest in counseling 2 different times since the divorce. my youngest was only 6 months old and has handled the situation fairly well. i am greatly concerned for the well being of my children and wish to protect them by whatever means i have to. can you please advise me to what i can legally do in this case? i have been told that as primary custodian I have the right to not allow him to have our boys in her home or around her family. her mother is an alcoholic and he has no problems taking the boys to cookouts where alcohol is served and drank by him. seeking help fast.......
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 7 years ago.
Thanks for the chance to assist. Can you tell me what the custody orders says....does he get on weekends? What is his visitation time as stated in the custody order?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
he has the standard visitation. everyother weekend, rotation of holidays, 4 weeks during summer (2 weeks at a time with at least 1 week in between)...i usually allow him some extra time since he had moved in with his parents because they take care of them, but since this last bout of unstableness....i don't feel secure in that. he has moved back in with them now, but both him and his father has MANY issues and i am afraid of the outcome. they have already proven to me they can't contain their anger from in front of the boys. I have also just learned that his father accused him of mistreating our boys and that was the spark of the "blowup". i am trying to find out more on that to prove him unfit or unstable to stop this mental abuse on our boys....they love him and beg to spend extra time with him, but i am frightened now. sadly, that is what my children thinks is normal.
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 7 years ago.

And sorry for the delay.

If there is a court order for visitation, both sides are bound by that order. Even though you have primary custody, you do not have the right to limit his custody during the time the court has ordered he have the can not, for example, say "You are not allowed to bring the kids to ____". Only the court can place such restrictions on a parents rights to spend time with their kids.

That said, if you can show that his conduct is not in the best interests of the kids...or if you can show that the situations he is placing the kids in are a danger to the kids...the court can certainly act to limit his conduct with the kids.

But to do this you have to petition the have to request the court modify the current order.

Frankly, from your description, it sounds like you have a decent chance to succeed. If you can show that he is a danger to the children...or that the situations he is placing the children in are dangerous, the court will take action to protect the kids. Period.

Please let me know if you have further questions; if so I will do my best to answer them. If not please hit the accept button, its the only way I get credit for my work.

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