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legaleagle, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 13441
Experience:  Practicing attorney for 10 years
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I have a daughter with my ex-husband who is 5. In the divorce

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I have a daughter with my ex-husband who is 5. In the divorce judgment we both agreed to have child support modified and do alternating weekends and not taking our daughter outside the L.A. County, San Diego or any other state outside of California(this is before I re-married my husband who serves in the military) When I got married my husband got orders to NC. My ex-husband did not want child support on his record so he asked that I take it off and he would agree to give me $350.00 (he makes close to 40,000.00 a year) per month via check. I asked that if I did take child support off, I would take my daughter to NC and we would practice summer/winter vacations and split the costs for traveling.

When i moved to NC at first things were okay. Then he started asking for his daughter in months we did not agree to. I currently had her in Pre-school so at times I had to pay for the full month and pull her out to bring her to CA to see her dad. Even though he never respected our verbal visitation agreement I always complied to his request in seeing his daughter. After living in NC for 3 years, my husband got orders to VA at first. Then my ex-husband started telling my daughter who is only 5, that it was not okay for her to be moving around every 3 years because it was unhealthy. I tried my best to reinforce my daughter in thinking positive and realizing that she would be okay and will continue a normal life. Well at the last minute my husband's orders changed back to CA.

Now that we are living in Ca problems began to occur as far as visitation and the time he wants his daughter. He has asked to take my daughter to MEXICO for family vacations (his wife's family) and I said NO. Reason being, because my daughter told me last week that her ste-mom gave her some wine to taste so she could see it was not a drink for kids. When I confronted her father about this, he stated that it was true and that he only did it because it was not a big deal and it was only a taste so she could see it was wrong for her to have some. Her step-mom does not speak to me (long story) but also tells her to do little things I disagree with, like poking and pinching butts, which my daughter did to me and told me her step-mom had asked her to do to her father. To make a long story short, he does not respect me, our agreements, the visitation, when speaking to me infront of my daughter if I disagree with something, he curses at me, yells at me and looses it infront of her. And if I say no to anything he asks, when he speaks to my daughter he tells her "I would've picked you up but your mother does not want me to" He allows his wife to have a say in everything regarding our daughter and they cut her hair, and do other stuff without consulting me at all.

Now that I have denied him to take her out the country, he has threatened me that he will not allow me to take my daughter with me next time my husband gets orders out of state....... My main question would be that.... being that I am married to a military man if he gets orders again out of state, will a judge deny me to take her away if her biological father requests it???
Since he has allowed you to leave the state before you can present that as evidence that it did not effect his relationship and by allowing you move again it would not hurt their relationship and it would be in her best interest to move with you out of state. There is a less than 10% chance that he would convince the court to deny your request.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Being that him and his wife have given my daughter wine and aside of all the emotional distress by the yelling and profanity infront of her, how can I feel safe allowing visitation this way?? Would this affect at all if I state this in court? I told him I want to go LEGAL and file child support and do everything right.... Well he wants to fight custody (in order to not pay a high amount of support) Can this be said to the judge altogether in my OSC... or would the main focus be the move out of state due to husband's orders??

Yes all those things will show that it is not in her best interest to have visitation much less be in his custody. It is good to go back and get the support reestablished and get the custody and visitation and leaving state issue hammered out. Yes you can use statements he has made against him regarding the real reason he is seeking to fight custody. He will not get custody just to avoid paying support. The main focus will be the issue of moving out of state but since it is for job related reasons and you have moved out of state before with his permission he really has no strong arguments to get a judge to deny you the ability to move.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
One more thing before I let you go here, I was told that because my husband serves in the forces and is fighting for his country moving in and out of the state for me and my kids would not be an issue due to the fact that the military works this way and its for job purposes not something we ask for. As long as I allow visitation to the non-custodial parent, what would matter is making sure my daughter has a relationship with her father. Is this true??
Yes. Since the moving is for work the court should have no problem allowing it and as long as you allow the visitation and do not interfere with the father's relationship when you are out of state the court will not require you to stay in the state.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you.