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Law Pro
Law Pro, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 24870
Experience:  20 years practicing family law from divorce, custody, support, alimony to equitable distribution
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My ex-wife of ten years has sole custody of our children (physical

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My ex-wife of ten years has sole custody of our children (physical and legal). I live several miles away and have seen them on average of 3-5 times a week for ten years. I have paid child support on time for ten years.

Recently my ex-wife cheated on the husband she left me for and is looking to bring husband number three into the mix. I need to explain the timeline on when she left me and what she is now trying to do.

She asked me for a seperation and started dating husband #2 within two weeks of my leaving the house. She was engaged six weeks later and married eight months after that. The man she brought into my kids lives was a very good man and treated our kids with kindness and love, so even though I didn't like the fast transition, I told her this was her ONLY time would would ever allow this. Now she is doing the same thing and my kids and I don't like it at all. They are 13 and 15 years old. The man is of questionable character, can I get joint legal and physical in Ca.?

Yes, you can always modify the custody/visitation order - the judge will (hopefully) enter an order that's in the "best interests of the children."


The real benefit you have here is the ages of the children - 13 and 15. The judge would most likely ask them where they want to live and with whom.


Do you know what they want to do?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
They really like their living situation and they don't want it to change, but their mom is insistant that this man is going to be in their lives and they don't want that. They would rather keep status quo, but that is not going to happen so they are reluctantly willing to change. Not by my pursuasion, they just don't want this guy around and they are willing to send this message to their mom by supporting my attempt to get Joint physical and Legal custody. She had the affair on July 24th and started dating him within 10 days. Not that this matters to a court, but this same man had an affair with her friend on July 23rd (verified by a PI and the friend in question). This man has NO moral compass and I have a 15 year old daughter, so I have to fight this fight.
So, rather than move with her in with him - they would rather move in with you - correct?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Yes and no...... Sorry! They and I want to send a message to her that this is not acceptable behavour on her part and they are willing to make this change to get this point across. I would only file for 50/50 legal and physical. I am not looking to take them away from their mom totally. I want them 50% of the time and I want to have more of a say as to what happens in their lives. Their mom also wants me to put them on my medical and I believe that can only happen if I have some sort of custody. I am sorry to be confusing! Up until this happened with their mom, they were happy in their home, now they are miserable and their mom is gone a lot with this man and hiring a nanny to watch them. They can live with me rather than have a nanny. The kids have their agenda and I have mine. I need more control than I have now so that I can protect them in some way from this situation.

No, as long as they are you children - you can put them on your medical (at a price of course).


Well, to answer your question - can you get joint physical and legal custody in California? Absolutely yes.


Will you? That would depend probably on what the children want to do - they are old enough to know their mind and what they want. Hopefully they know what's in their best interest.


So, as such, if you and they can join together - then yes, absolutely I think you can get joint legal and physical custody of the children if you petition the court that they want to spend 50% of their time with you.


Most likely, I would think the mother would just consent rather than go through the hassle with the courts - especially if that's what the kids want - she should realize she's fighting a losing battle.



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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you so much for your time! Kent
You're welcome. Good luck!!