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I want to file for divorce in NY where I was originally

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married. My wife sprung on...
I want to file for divorce in NY where I was originally married. My wife sprung on me about 3 weeks ago that shes been telling me shes unhappy and doesnt want to be married and that it is not my fault she just doesnt feel the same way about me. We have been married for just about 2 years, and now she has been talking to another guy which i have phone records of dating back 2 months ago. I have no proof of audltry so I cannot use that as a reason to file divorce. There's only a few grounds for divorce in NY and the only one that I think I can use as my reason for divorce is related to sexual relations and abandonment. I have been deployed overseas for 7 months came home things were fine, then around the same time i noticed these calls were being made to the guy I was no longer engaging in sexual relations with her (her choice). she told me she never wanted to have a child with me, her reason being it woulndt fix a marraige and we no longer have sex what advice can you give me
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Family Law
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9/1/2009
Family Lawyer: Brandon M., Family Law Attorney replied 8 years ago
Brandon M.
Brandon M., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 12,620
Experience: Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
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Hi Customer:

How long have you resided in NC? How long has she been in NY?
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Originally lived in NY up until i was 22 joined the Military at 22 (Dec 2005) we i resided in North Carolina (still to this day) We were married in New York (Dec 2007). We married after my first deployment she came and lived with me for about 2 weeks on and off for the course of 2 and a half months, saying she couldnt do it because we werent getting along like she thought we were suposed to. So she went back home to NY to live with her parents on and off rotating living in NC and NY....I went on another deployment overseas where she went back home to NY and has lived there since I left in April of 2008.
Family Lawyer: Brandon M., Family Law Attorney replied 8 years ago
Hi again:

last question:

is there a particular reason that you would want the divorce to proceed in New York state, as opposed to North Carolina?
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
I just assumed that I had to file in the state I was married in. I have a Legal Office on base that offers legal advice but as you know theres alot of military personnel that also are having the same problems which makes it hard to get a one on one consultation with one of the lawyer. All I want to do is just divorce her. She told me a few weeks ago when the divorce agrument started that she would have filed for one but she didnt have the money...she has a job I would almost suspect that it was because she didnt meet any of NY's requirements for divorce. I know im not at fault and I feel that she is.. I just dont know what to file for or Where to file to gain a legitimate divorce reason. she really hurt me bad i didnt want a divorce but she has apparently (or i assume) found someone else and lost the feeling that we once had. But as of right now there is no legal or written documents as far as an agreement between us. I continue to Pay her cell phone, and car insurance.She lives with her parents so theres no rent to pay on her end ( I pay rent for my home in North Carolina- which she chooses not to live here) what should i do? I even Give her some extra spending money ($250 every 2 weeks) just to i guess be nice because if i cancel all the stuff i pay for she has nothing but a petty job that she couldnt support herself with, and i dont want to put myself at fault for not supporting her while shes still my wife.
Family Lawyer: Brandon M., Family Law Attorney replied 8 years ago
Hi again:

if you have been living in North Carolina for the past 2 years, North Carolina has jurisdiction over the marriage and you would be able to proceed there. Unlike New York, NC is a "no-fault" divorce state, meaning that irreconcilable differences arising in the marriage is a sufficient basis for a divorce. More than one state can have jurisdiction over a marriage at a time, but it is governed by where the parties reside, not where the marriage took place. Since she is in NY, you could proceed there is you really wanted to, but I could not see the advantage in doing so.

I would also suggest that you just pay an attorney for 1-2 hours of his/her time before filing; it's not uncommon for one spouse to continuing paying the other's bills post-separation, and you can oftentimes get credit for those bills to offset things like alimony (and before you start worrying about alimony, rest assured that, based on what you have told me, any obligation that you might have would be minimal and short-term).

Let me know if more information is needed, and please remember to click "accept". Thank you.
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
thank you for your reply i understand that i need to bring this up to a legal assistant for further review and im pleases to hear that whatever shes trying to get from me will be only small amounts and for a short term. But before i accept the answer is there any suggestions pertaining to the information i gave you that would give my legal consultant an idea of where i should go?
Family Lawyer: Brandon M., Family Law Attorney replied 8 years ago
Hi again:

Most courthouses have information packets and even classes on how to file for divorce; they try to make it accessible to the general public, so I would start there.
Brandon M.
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Satisfied Customers: 12,620
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