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Tina, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33167
Experience:  JD, 17 years legal experience including family law
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I need advise! I just found out that my husband is cheating.

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I need advise! I just found out that my husband is cheating. I have a 16 month old and I am 6.5 months pregnant with baby number 2. I confronted my husband and he of course would not admit it. I would not give him my details, because then he would know how I was keeping tabs on him. I feel trapped. I did not expect this. What do I do, what should I prepare for?
Thank you for trusting our JA team for guidance. We are happy to assist you. However, we need a little more information about your question.


I am sorry this is happening to you. You must still be reeling from the shock.


Please let me know what state you live in. Do you have marital property? How long have you been married? Do you both have a job or is he the primary financial provider for the family?


Customer: replied 8 years ago.

We live in Chicago, IL. I am a Real Estate Broker, which with the current economy we chose to have me take time off to care for baby 1 and now 2 on the way. So my husband is the primary financial provider.


We both has real estate investments when we got married and he even insisted on a prenup, to protect him self. However sinse then he has sold all but 2 of those properties and we together own, 3 of which none of them are our primary residence. Our Primary is under the prenup as his. Now he ans I have talked many times about the prenup, and he has said this house is mine. But I never contimplated divorce. I'm sure he will back track on that when the time comes.


Also I am wondering about our children. I have asked him to stay long enough for me to have baby 2 and then we can separate. He says we are never going to separate because I'm just crazy. So what I would like to do before I have this baby is take baby 1 away for the weekend or even week, un-announced to him so he gets the picture we will be gone is he can not take this seriously and make ammends. So I have the right to do that, or in some strange way can he come after me for kidnapping?

If you do not take your baby out of the state, there is no danger of being charged with kidnapping. Even if you go out of state, you should be fine. However, let him know that the baby is OK so he does not file a missing persons report.


You should make sure you have access to funds, so withdraw funds from any accounts you have access to. Take all important papers with you just in case you don't come back right away. You would be entitled to spousal and child support under these circumstances if you file for divorce.


Here are grounds for divorce in IL, including adultery:


You may want to look at this later when you are in a better emotional state. But you should consult with a local divorce attorney at some point. The state bar association can refer you to attorneys in your area.


Make sure you keep the proof you have of adultery in a safe place or more than one place so you have it if you decide to file for divorce.


Here is information also on prenuptial agreements in IL:


Again, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time, especially while you are pregnant. Please try to stay calm for the safety of your child and unborn baby until you have people around you who can provide moral and emotional support.


All the best to you.




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Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you for the info. I was aware of these things but it is nice to get it all in writing. I really do not want his stuff. I want him and our family. But now I just want the support he always professed to give.


So what about my second question about getting out of town for the weekend. I'm not talking about leaving the country just like going to Michigan to the beach.

In IL it is not parental kidnapping if you go out of state with your child for a short time to get away.


Good luck to you.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you for that answer. I know my husband trust me with my child but he does have a way of telling stories that I didn't want to get out of control.


Can you give me any advise on the evidence I have. I have copies of emails of explicit stuff being said back and forth. I have listened to his cell phone messages and only have the verbal message on that. We share a cell package, so I have his cell records that show calls back and forth and text messages back and forth. Do I need to physically catch them in order to make the adultery claim. What more do I need?

No the e-mails and texts would be plenty. You do not have to catch them in the act.


Take care.


Payment would be appreciated.

Thank you.

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