I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma.
Let me caution you that you are about to enter a situation in which, if your ex chooses to, you are going to be nickeled and dimed to death.
I urge you not to pay a dime unless and until you have legitimate copies of bills in front of you and, do not pay your ex directly--as this will be a reason for her to pad the bills.
Pay only by check or cashier's check and make each individual check payable to the appropriate payee. The moment your daughter turns 18, pay her directly for out of pocket expenses like shampoo and toothpaste.
To begin with, you have absolutely every right to be a part of the process as it applies to the anticipated costs. If your ex is being difficult about sharing the basic financial information you will need to arrange for payment, I'd suggest that you tell her that her failure to cooperate may mean that bills don't get paid on time and that there is a possibility that your daughter will have problems signing up for classes.
Also be aware that you may not be told about scholarships, grants or loans that she may get while attending school. I would advise you that since you are paying half the bill, that you arrange for the ability to discuss directly with the university, landlord etc., any questions dealing with finances you might have.
The court will not force you to be "had" by a vindictive ex. Make a stand early on so that there is no confusion that while you are willing to meet your agreed on obligations, that you will not allow your ex to abuse the situation by manipulating the timing or accuracy of information you receive.
I wish you the best.
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