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Sending a letter to the judge is a bad idea. His or her obligation will be to send copies of the letter to all concerned. That means that your spouse and his lawyer will get a copy of your letter telling, basically, that you are in a desparate situation. You don't want that.
1. Write a letter to your attorney and send it certified. You should not rely on phone calls. Give him or her 10 days to get a court date set, or whatever you are requesting.
Explain that you are going to file a complaint with the State Bar Association.
2. If you do not get results, immediately file a written complaint with the Bar Association.
You should be able to get a new attorney because in most cases, if he is found in contempt he will have to pay your attorney's fees anyway.