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Jane Doe Deer
Jane Doe Deer, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 3896
Experience:  Attorney since 1986; Plain English explanations of support, visitation, custody, etc.
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How to financially protect myself prior to marriage and in

Customer Question

How to financially protect myself prior to marriage and in case of of divorce? Im a 28y/o woman with a MBA and I come from big Pharma. Im engaged to a 42y/o man who owns a global IT firm and makes more money than most. During the last year, I have not worked and he has taken care of me financially. We have decided that I will not work when we are married and simply focus on our family. However, we are also thinking maybe I will work p/t for his corporation heading up Business Development.      Considering that the divorce rate is so high, I would like to secure myself financially in case we get a divorce. I need your help! I have heard of many women who end up shafted because (ie their name wasnt on the deed, etc). A friend of mine said to not work at all. I ned your opinion. Also out of the Delware & Maryland, which state is the best to reside in favor of the wife in case of a divorce? Do i get him to write a "love letter" stating how he loves me and whats his is mine? Help
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Jane Doe Deer replied 9 years ago.

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I look forward to assisting you.


There can sometimes be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be researching the answer to your question, helping other customers, or taking a break. If we're writing late in the evening, I may need to get some sleep and resume helping you the following morning.


Answer: The solution to your problem is a prenuptial agreement, commonly referred to as a "prenup."


You and your BF should each have your own attorney to represent you. Some couples find it helpful to use a mediator to help work out things over which they disagree. In a way, it's like a divorce in reverse.


You can put more than just financial matters in a prenup. You can include anything you can think of, from who will benefit from a retirement account to who takes out the garbage.


I know it may seem strange, but you're being very, very smart to ask the question. Going through the prenup process will also help you learn more about one another.


Look for family law attorneys to help you with this process. Good luck to both of you!



I'd be happy to answer follow-up questions.


Before giving me poor feedback, write to me. "Bonus" = "tip"


Next time, ask for "Jane Doe Deer."


I wish you the best. You'll be ok. Be prepared for the worst, and you're always prepared for the best.


Jane Doe Deer






Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Hi there Jane. Thanks for answering my question. YES, I do have a couple of follow-up questions.

FYI - I recently discovered that my fiance was "friends" if you will, with three different women. I spoke to these women myself and learned that Kyle (my fiance seemed to be more than just "friends").    Kyle has attempted to prove his love and faithfulness by calling these women and and informing them to stop "stalking" him. Bottom-line I dont believe him, yet Im am going to stay with him. He has expressed his "love" for me verbally (but you and I both know that actions speak louder than words).   My uncle is a US Ambassador and Kyle's is the president of a Global IT firm. I need to make sure that I can make him legally pay for his indiscretions that may occur in the future.

1. Should I ask him to write a letter to me explaining his intentions for our relationship. Saying words like "You are my everything", "Im nothing without you", I plan to love you, forever",   things along those lines? Please give me somethings to have him include in the letter.

2. Can you please help me with the verbiage used to address adultery and infidelity in a prenup? For instance, He agrees that he will pay me half of his taxable earning, investments, and an additional $20,000 for each year we were married. (Im not sure what exactly to say but I want to protect myself and in the future. If I give up my career and focus on our family without using my Exec MBA, I need to be compensated and well protected for that.

3. Which state is best to reside in for women during a divorce (DE, MD, VA, DC)?

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX to hear from you soon.
Expert:  Jane Doe Deer replied 9 years ago.

Sorry, but you are asking several new, time-consuming questions. I'm unable to answer them all under one question.


Please submit your other questions separately. Meanwhile, I repeat, you need to hire an attorney; don't try to write your own prenup.


Would you like me to opt out so that you can try another expert?

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I did not find the "expert" helpful at all. She informed me that I could ask follow=up questions, then refused to answer the three questions (65 words) that I asked.    Very disappointed.